A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I finished things with my boyfriend after over 2years because he was texting another girl and I wasn't comfortable with it, he was flirting, he's done this before and we got past it without it being a big issue but this time I felt he needed to know it was wrong.We broke up last monday, but we've been texting and things, we're basically on a break, and we'll be back together soon, but I miss him so much. We were everything to each other which is what made me realise I didn't want him to be everything to me, just a part of my life. Things are so complicated at the moment, when we see or talk to each other it's like nothing's happened and then reality checks in. He's so sorry, he won't stop depressing his friends about what's going on, he's cried himself to sleep every night, and trust me , he barely ever cries, and it's made me realise how special what we have is, but I can't just take him back easily.Any ideas on how I could take him back without it being too easy for him, yet not being too hard for me, it's killing me.
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female
reader, nothing.lasts.and.nothing's.lost +, writes (24 May 2010):
 I've been in a similar situation as to breaking up with someone because they've upset me, and taking them back too easily, and I know it's hard to be apart from someone you miss, but fact is if you take him back 'too' easily, he may just slip back into his old ways. Thing is, in order to stand your ground, I think you have to stay seperate from him for a while to show that you won't put up with what he's done. But if you give in because you miss him you may regret it, because the easier you give in, the more chance he'll think he can get away with his actions. When you spend so much time with someone you're bound to miss them when seperated, but sometimes it's the company you miss and not the love for the person. All I mean is, you're young, and you have plenty of time to find someone that treats you right and respects you more, so be sure before getting back with him that he's right for you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 May 2010):
You've got to stop this 'taking him back to easily' thing. You either take him back and make him work his ass off, or you let him go. Personally, and at a young age, I think you're better off letting him go. I think you can find someone better. But if you are going to take him back, then take him back but insist that he is always totally open with you, that his texts are open and warn him that if at any point you even think he's cheating again, you'll end it permanently. But remember what I said. Maybe it's best to let this one go now. You don't want to take him back out of charity and find he's up to no good
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (24 May 2010):
 If you want to take him back, then take him back. Don't emotionally punish him or make him pay. If he's truly regretful about texting another girl (he wasn't cheating with her!) and will respect your wishes and not do it again, then what's so complicated?Sometimes, we make things too complicated. The fine art of forgiveness is a truly liberating thing. Try it with this guy, and you'll be much happier than making him pay or "learn his lesson" if you truly want to be with him. If you don't want to be with him, let him go for good, but do not play games.
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