A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Its been 3 months since my break up with my ex, i believed she didn't love me, i believe she was dating around guys, and had sex with this one guy i had my suspicions with. So during the last 3 months i took up drinking and smoking (not heavily but when i drink i get drunk, possibly once every week) I also had sex with this girl which i regret.. So my ex invited me to a party and I feel embarrassed because the first impression since 3 months she sees me fucked up.. The day after she called to make sure I was alright and I told her yeah I am, don't worry about me. Then we started talking for hours till nighttime. I was shocked when I found she wasn't dating around, she only liked one guy and they just kissed, she never got drunk, no sex, and when she broke up with me it was cuz the pain of our fighting was too much that she couldn't handle it, she still loved me..I feel this whole time i had this wrong image of her.. and now I regret everything I've done, deep down behind the anger and sadness I towards my ex (which helped me move on I believed she had sex) I really care about her, I might not love her yet, but this girl is amazing, her qualities and personality surpass every girl I liked recently, my eyes are finally opened, I still have feelings for her.. we talked about seeing each other, i needed to tell i her the truth, so i told her I had sex with another girl and she broke down, she was so mad, she even wanted to fight the girl, I told her I regret it so much and wish I could take it back.. I feel like I fucked up big time..What do I do? How do I know if she's worth it? Will she come back again?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much, great advice :)
A
female
reader, based51  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Its good that you told her the truth. If you left it for months and months after you started seeing each other again and she found it, it would be so much worse.Well the good things are that she clearly still has feelings for you. She wouldn't have gotten so upset if she didn't. Secondly, you slept with this other girl when you two had been apart for three months. I'd say that's enough time to consider that you've done no wrongdoing here. Naturally your girl is upset because she cares for you and doesn't want anyone else to have you but her, but after a few days/week or so she'll come to see that since you two were apart for three whole months you were perfectly fine to sleep with someone else, and you telling her about it proves you want to start over. Tell her you want to start over, you have deep feelings for her and you promise that you'll stop being so insecure and you'll trust her. I do think that she'll eventually come round.As for yourself, you need to sort yourself out. You destroyed your relationship because of unfounded accusations which arose out of your own insecurities. You seriously need to work on that and control these feelings, ASAP. Before you and this girl start seeing each other again. If a few weeks go by after you've started dating again and you start behaving like that again, she's going to be reminded of why she broke up with you in the first place. Don't let that happen. If she's the girl for you you need to fight hard for the relationship. Show her your worth it.
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