A
female
age
41-50,
*s.unfortunate
writes:Hi, I married a married man. I know, I just dived right into it but I'm just distraught, I knew he was married but I couldnt help how I felt. We have so much in common and so much passion, we click in so many ways its unbelievable but the fact remains that he is married and has 4 kids. I am muslim girl therefore knew that it is allowed although we never registered because I wanted to prove I'm not after any financial support. I myself am divorced with 2 kids and knew the meaning of a father being there for his kids as my ex was not there for his. We got married on the grounds that I accept his first wife and share his time, which I did however, his family and wife are forever interfering and ringing me and threatening me. I have been so patient and understanding yet I'm being punished for falling in love. I know Islam says equal rights but I get nothing, no time, no support (financial or otherwise.) It's not about money I just want my husband but I feel I have no right to ask this as I agreed but I did not ask for the constant threats and arguments which in effect result in him not coming home for days. I feel hurt and lonely and have rebelled againsst all my family for him, I have no one except my kids and they don't know whether they're coming or going. Please help, I need some advice about my rights and maybe someone from the Islamic community to guide me through this........
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): I too know little about your culture / religion. However I do know about isolation and unhappiness in a relationship and surely we are on this planet to be the best we can, to strive to be happy and to give and receive love whatever our culture. I hope that you can be strong to firstly communicate your feelings but to also be true to yourself. You can leave your situation if you really want to.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 I'm sorry I know nothing about the Islamic community, laws or rights but my heart goes out to you. Have you tried talking to your husband about what his family and his other wife are putting you and your children through? Surely if he loves you, there is something he can do to stop the madness. He should speak to them directly and tell them he will not tolerate them abusing you simply because you are now in the family. I am guessing that it may be legal in your country for a man to have two wives, but it doesn't mean that all people agree with this law. Jealousy is jealousy in any culture. If he loves you, he will put a stop to it. I wish you the best.
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