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I love my husband to be but I know my parents are ashamed of him

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 October 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2015)
A female Japan age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Im getting marry with my fiance next year. We had been together for 6 years. Hes caring and people can tell he loves me deeply from how he treated me.

His family loves me and always include me in every event and gatherings they had. They also excited about our wedding next year. His parent is a warm person and they are simple and lovely people.

Problem is. Honestly i dont feel very comfortable around his house and his current living situation. Also my parent a bit underestimate him. His family is not as wealthy as mine and his parent job is not consider as high profile and i know my parents underestimate them. My parent think that money can make people happy and show someone social status. Sometimes i think they ashame of my choice that i had less wealthy boyfriend.

I know i will regret if i dont marry him. He teaches me so many life lesson and he tried hard to make me happy. Im grateful to be loved by him. Hes a husband material. But sometimes when i think about his living situation and my parent i feel scared. Although my parent also know and supportive about our wedding but i know theyre ashamed to have son in law who is not success and afraid that my life would be miserable with him. They thought that hes not compatible for me but they also know that he loves me so much that its all what i need.

What should i do? I will definitely marry him whatever the cost but i wish things will get better soon. Is there any hope and experiences from aunt and uncle? Please share your lovelife experience and journey :)

Also what should i do with my parent? I dont want them to be ashamed of him and i want to make them proud. What can i do?

View related questions: fiance, money, wedding

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2015):

You either marry for love or status.

Die with memories of love or die with an empty soul...a wasted life.

NO amount of wealth or status, Royal or otherwise can fulfil the need for true love.

You should feel proud to have a man who loves you, proud that his parents love you, and proud that your parents love you and happy that you have found love. Shame is a word that belongs in an empty heart never with love.

True Wealth and Class are qualities found within a person and lives on, long after status names are forgotten.

Hope you have a happy life, good luck.

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2015):

supermum agony auntWhat do you mean you don't feel comfortable with his current living situation? What is wrong with it?

I will tell you a secret.. as a parent, there is only one thing we want for our children. We want them to be happy. If you show them how happy your man makes you every single day, they wont be ashamed of him. The only reason they want him to have more money is because they believe that will make you happier. If you show them he can make you happy without the money, then that is all they need.

I am concerned by one thing though.. and that is why his living situation would bother you so much? Is it that he still lives with his parents that you don't like? Do you still live with yours? Is it possible he was living with them so he could save money to put a deposit down on a house?

If you are ashamed of him yourself, then maybe you shouldn't marry him. If you aren't, then you definitely should. And if you are that worried about your parents being ashamed... have you tried talking to them? Do they know you think they feel that way? And if they do feel that way, ask them what he can do to stop them feeling that way. Genuinely your happiness should be enough. xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2015):

Are you living your life for your parents or for youself? If for your parents then dump him and find someone wealthy like you.

If for yourself then be happy you have a man who treats you well.

Money isn't everything.

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