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I love my gf to pieces...but she's going away with her mates...and I'm worried that they will influence her actions!!

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Question - (27 June 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *gfcyid writes:

I love my girlfriend to pieces and i know she loves me. I trust her so much but her mates are all man eaters and i know what they are like when it comes to men. She is going away with her mates and although she may not be the same as her mates, i still worry about her doing something with another man whilst she is on holiday. it would break my heart if she did. her mum says she is loyal to people and would never do anything like that. She is my everything and i love her but her mates are the type of people to allow her to do something rather than say ' you got a boyfriend, dont do it'. However i text her mum telling her how much i loved her daughter and how worried i was about her going away and my girlfriend saw that text and is now worried that i am becoming obsessed with her and i fear that it may be a bit different now every time we see eachother. im feeling gutted at the minute and wish i never sent that text. Is there something wrong with me?

View related questions: on holiday, text

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A male reader, foz88 United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2010):

i dont think your wierd and theres nothing wrong with what you've dond. I think that you should trust her though, whats a relationship without trust? Although it may be hard i recomend you bottle your worries up and wait till she gets back, once its been and gone and you've got her back chances are youve forgot this paranoid state you're in and things will be back to normal. As for her comments you should ask her to be a bit more understanding. best wishes, foz88 p.s. Dont forget your youth.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2008):

Going to her mum about the fact she might cheat is a bit odd in my view. Why didn't you talk to her about it? I'd be so annoyed if a man I was seeing went and spoke to my parents about something he was worried about in our relationship.

But it's not too late. Ring her and ask her to come round so you can explain. Tell her you are worried and you know it's stupid because you trust her.

You do trust her don't you? Your main issue seems to be that her mates wouldn't stop her from cheating, as though she has no will of her own to resist other men.

Appologise and tell her you trust her. Don't ruin her holiday, it should be a happy time and a chance for you to go out with your mates for a while too.

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008):

There is nothing wrong with you it's a natural emotion. If she loves you like you love her you shouldn't worry even if she's with her friends that shouldn't matter if she has her own opions don't worry.

hope this helps

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A female reader, Butterut United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2008):

There's nothing wrong with you, but you've got to be big about this. I'd feel concerned too but this is how you learn to trust. Give it a go.

I would't involve your girlfriend's mum. There's no point.

All you can do is tell your girlfriend how you love her and trust her. That you would be devistated if she fooled around with another man. I'm sure she can imagine how she'd feel if you were going away with wild friends.

Try to trust her and not freak her out by beng too freaked out yourself. There is something very attractive about a man who is trusting and something unattractive and off putting about a man who is insecure.

So why don't you plan a special treat or trip for you and your girlfriend for when she returns. Something for you both to look forward to. I think it might help you think positively whilst she's away and she'll be looking forward to it too - and probably miss you more because you're so romantic, trusting and thoughtful : )

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A female reader, cupcake89 United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2008):

I think any caring guy who loves his girlfriend would be thinking the same! But the fact is that if you love her you should be able to trust her to be faithful, Would she trust you to go away with your mates? if yes then you should give her the same respect. Worrying shows you care, but I'm not a maneater and believe me the majority of my mates are the type of people who will sleep with a different guy night after night, but I wouldn't do that if I was on holiday with them. You need to let your girlfriend know that you love her and trust her without being overprotective, jealous or obsessed. That way she'll go away and come back and honest person. It's all about one thing trust!

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