A
female
age
30-35,
*upcake89
writes:Basically, I've been dating this guy for like a week now, He wants to get serious but I've never had a relationship before, so I'm scared of going wrong. We get on really well and I really like his company. But my worry is that if I get into a serious relationship then he's going to want to spend every moment together and I know I need some time to myself too, how do I tell him? As well as that I'm not going to see him much over the next few weeks as I'm moving house, working and going home to see my family for a a bit as I live away from home and it's been arranged for ages. What if he's not willing for me to not see him for so long and dumps me now. I do really like him, I just don't know what's best. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): I would be careful if I were you. If a guy wants to rush into a relationship it could mean he's insecure (which is really bad). The other thing is: have you had sex with him yet? You sound inexperienced in the dating world so let me tell you many guys that age will say ANYTHING to get some. They don't need an emotional connection of any kind. He might think "getting serious" is the only way he can get sex from you. So be wary of that.
A
female
reader, cupcake89 +, writes (27 June 2008):
cupcake89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys you're giving me much more confidence about this, I hope he's as understanding as you say he should be.
Thanks xxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 June 2008):
Wow, you need to relax about this.
By being serious, it just means he actually cares about you. It doesn't mean he's expecting you to be his little housewife and spend every second with him.
Relationships are flexible and changing and different for everyone.
If he dumps you because SHOCK he won't see you much over the next weeks then he's obviously got a mental age of 12 and is not ready to have a girl friend anyway.
As for needing time to yourself - every girl does. When does he expect you to shave your legs otherwise? Just chill out and if you feel like you need a night in just tell him you need some time to do girly stuff / sleep / hang out with mates etc etc etc
The best part of being in a serious relationship is that the other person knows that one night isn't important because there will be many many more to come.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Hi Hunny
You just have to first TAKE A DEEP BREATH!!!!Right have a talk with him very casual and tell him all the stuff you have to do over the next few weeks, Hunny if he wants to get serious now why would he finish with you for doing things that are planned and need doing..So he should understand and just say you cant wait untill all this is sorted out so you can relax a little..As you get to know him more make sure he knows you like a little time alone, You time...And take one day at a time and dont get stressed thinking ahead sweetheart. Then just see how things go love dont pressure yourself and dont be pressured okey dokey HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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