A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im friends with a guy and last summer we grew close as in a few kisses nothing else. hes been with his girlfriend 5 years. he says shes domineering and threatens suicide. i fell deeply in love with him but he said due to what was going on he couldnt leave her. i was gutted and it nearly ruined our friendship as i became extremely emotional and couldnt accept. 7anyway we're slowing fixing the friendship and we're just texting at the moment but everytime i ask how he is he still says hes unhappy. on new years eve someone posted a photo of him hugging his girlfriend and i called him on it and he replied it didnt mean he was happy. im really confused i dont know whats going on :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): Its not as easy as these people make it out to be to leave someone.. He cares about his GF, and doesn't want to see her hurt herself over him.. Hes going to have to choose between his happiness or hers, but I too believe, hes not as unhappy as he trys to portray. Maybe unhappy enough to cheat but not unhappy enough to leave...Im sorry, but you just got caught up in his mess...If you were really that important to him, and if he truly wanted to be with you, he would have...And if hes doing this to her, whose to say he wouldnt do it to you..Think about it. these are signs on how he would treat you in a relationship... I think you should leave him ALONE!! if not hopefully it will work out, I wish you the best. (:
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 What’s going on is you want more than friendship. YOU kissed a taken man. YOU watch him on facebook. YOU look for reasons to disbelieve he’s happy. He gives you lines about it.
IF he was that unhappy he would leave her. Trust me. NO ONE stays in an unbearably unhappy situation regardless of what they say.
And I will tell you this, if his GF does not know about you, he’s lying to her and I see this as cheating. IF he left her for you, would you trust him?
What’s going on is you are being strung along as an ego stroke.
I’d recommend walking away from this man.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (13 January 2013):
 You say you're friends with this man. But, that's not strictly true, now is it? You tell us you are "deeply in love" with him, though its evidently not mutual.
As for why he won't open up to you, well, duh, its a no-brainer. He has a girlfriend. If he really was unhappy with her, he'd end it. I think he's spinning you a story.
Time to let go of this friendship perhaps and look for someone who actually wants to develop a relationship with you.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (13 January 2013):
 He has got a girlfriend. If he was as unhappy as you have been led to believe, then he would have left her. He would have left her with or without you in the background. If you are only interested in friendship then what is there to be confused about? Why dont you move on instead of prolonging a situation what you want, but he doesnt want to change?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): If you haven't realized by now that if a person is truly unhappy they wouldn't be there! He's in a free country where he chooses to stay or leave. She hadn't kidnapped him for God's sake! You're not confused, you want him for yourself. You're not hearing what you want to hear so therefore, you're hurting its not confusion.
The writings on the wall. Your best out is to send this fish back to the sea! Best of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 Hes not a friend of yours, be honest with yourself here. You want more than friendship, and like it or not but he doesnt feel the same about you. Sure he says hes unhappy, he probably is. But not all the time, not so unhappy that he wants to leave his girlfriend. Just enough to cheat on her a little.... This is not a friend of yours. Hes a guy with a girlfriend, a guy you have feelings for, a guy who doesnt want a relationship with you. Time to move on and find someone whos single and available.
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A
female
reader, Lilystar +, writes (13 January 2013):
Sounds like he's stuck with this girl and afraid to hurt her. Unfortunately there's not much you can do about it. He'll probably end up with her if he doesn't have the courage to leave. He is trying to avoid guilt. That is taking precedence over finding happiness. You can't make him see the light. He has to realize what is most important whether it's you or not. I believe that love generally prevails. Just may not be on your time schedule. So I wouldn't waste my time sitting around waiting for him. If you can continue to be friends with him, that's great, but don't expect anything more. Move on.
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