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I love my boyfriend, but he does not want to work, or go to school, he plays xbox 360 all day long, I am 18, he is 20, what can I say to motivate him to do something with his life?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 August 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

well im 18 and i have a bf thats 20.I love him alot but the thing is that he doesnt work and doesnt wanna go to school or like basically do anything..All he does is play on xbox 360 the whole day..

1.How should I tell him to do something with his life?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008):

How can you love someone who doesn’t love himself? If he doesn’t love himself how do you expect him to love you? It look like he loves his xbox more than you. Drop the guy and find someone with a future.

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A male reader, Saleem Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (8 August 2008):

Firstly, ask him if he wanna spend the rest of his life with you..

If the answer is no dump him and find a real MAN

If the answer is yes then tell him that things need to change.

He needs to be able to take care of you and later on start a family.

If he really wants to marry you and build a futre together he would shape up..

Give him some time and if things dont change then move on..

It wont be easy but you need to secure your future

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

Tell him that you want to be with a man who is going somewhere in life and that is not him. Tell him you love him but need to move on up and find a real man with a job and some prospects. Tell him you wish that could be him.

Then leave.

If he cares about you and loves you then he will do something to prove he can be that guy. He'll get a job and some ambition.

If he's still not moved from in front of the Xbox in a month then move on, he obviously only saw you as a brief distraction from his games anyway.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008):

Get up in the middle of the night and hide his Xbox away from the home and refuse at all points to tell him where it is.

Tell him he's only getting it back when YOU are satisfied he's on the way to making something of his life.

Or you could tell him he won't be getting sex for a long time unless he cuts down his gaming to an hour once a day.

I love gaming consoles myself... but all games get tedious, no matter how coo they are, and there is no excuse for a man to neglect a woman for one.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntAaaaah little boys and their toys!!! Look hun if he does not want to motivate himself away from his X box, there is not much you can do. You have wasted enough of your valuable time with him, go and do other things that does not involve him have fun with your friends instead.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (8 August 2008):

Honeygirl agony auntSweetie, he needs to get a job, sorry but I feel that spending all this time on xbox is being really anti-social! Suggest you have a chat to him - unplug the computer if thats the only way you can get his attention, and find out what are his plans. Life goes past so quickly and before you realise it, you are 35 or 40 or older with no qualifications!

Honeygirl

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008):

He's only 20, if he wants to play on his xbox and not go to school then that is up to him really.

It's the best time to do it, before he has commitments like children, marriage, career. I never really started working hard in life until I was 26.

I know you care about him, and want the best for him, but don't make the mistake of trying to change him, because it probably won't work.

You're both so young starting out in life; make the most of your youth - but if you really do want such different things right now then perhaps you aren't right for each other?

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A female reader, mimisoph3 United States +, writes (8 August 2008):

mimisoph3 agony auntyess u should u should tell him

that he needs to get a damn jobb

do u work??

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