A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im a 22yrs old and i lost my virginity last month to my bf of 11 months. i was saving my self for marriage b\c its part of my religion. my bf pressured me into doing it but i started to cry during it and he stopped. the next day he tried again and i didn't cry so he finished to job. i lost bf's in the past for not sleeping with him but im in love with my current bf. i really dont want to have sex with him and i told him this but he keeps pressuring me. what should i do? should i leave him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): So he did it until you cried and then he stopped? And then he did it again and finished and you didn't cry and object the second time? This sounds like something less than "rape" but certainly not what I would call consensual sex either. Maybe he deserves one more chance. But I'm talking ONE more chance at the most. And I'm saying "maybe he deserves it" not "he does deserve it." He should have known better than to do what he did. Even if you do get him to agree to no more sex now, you should still dump him if he doesn't see something seriously wrong with what he's already done just on principle. He should have known better.
A
female
reader, miss sweetheart +, writes (2 February 2009):
This happened to me but he couldn't get in so he stopped. I am so sorry this happened to you. I am also saving myself for marriage. This is rape. No one should force anyone to have sex. He knows you love hin that is why he did it. Please leave him he is no good. Believe me I know. I am so sorry again. If you need anyone to talk to please write me.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (31 January 2009):
 Just put your foot down and tell him you will when you are ready but if he wants to have a relationship with you he better back off. If he keeps up with it, dump him and move on because you are better than that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): This man is not your future husband. What kind of man is content to "finish the job" with a partner who is sad and not pleasured by the act? The type of man you want to marry, is one who will love and respect you even when it is inconvenient; he will definitely care how you feel when you make love. And the man who wants to marry you would recognize that you two have the rest of your lives to have sex. This guy hasn't even proposed and he put it on thick. 11 months is not that long in the scheme of your life. It is a shame that you lost your virginity to this guy --not because I think sex between two loving adults is wrong, but because you cannot get it back and your relationship will fail.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (31 January 2009):
 You have taken a stand hon now you have to STAND on YOR CONVICTIONS@ Never do anything that you aren't comfortable with. Since you have already told him this it seems that he isn't really giving you the respect that he should. He is acting upon his needs and isn't considering yours.
I suggest that you tell him he needs to try and understand your feelings. Let him know that you only gave in because he was so insistant and that you care about him. When you explain ONE MORE TIME that you want to wait until marriage, he has to accept your decision. If he can't see fit to give you the respect and allow you to keep what dignity you have in tact then you may have to take different recourse.
Since you have already lost your virginity to him and I am sure you don't intend to let things go so far again,
it's very possible that he won't accept this and he may move on. Either way you take a chance of loosing him. No matter what you do from here on out, never allow him to manipulate you into anything else that will cause you to feel the guilt you are most assuredly feeling now.
It may even be wise to give him some time alone to think about this concept. Sex before marriage isn't your way and you don't want to cross that bridge again until you are really ready to reach to the other side. Face the situation head on and STAND STONG! He'll respect you more for STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF! If he walks,in the long run it will have all worked itself out, for you are better off when you can reach your destination without taking all the wrong roads!
PRAY FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO BE RETURNED BACK INTO GOD'S FAVOR. WHEN YOU HAVE HIS FAVOR, YOU WILL WIN....NO MATTER WHAT THE ODDS ARE AND WHAT THE PRIZE WILL BE!*The prize is the PEACE IN YOUR SOUL YOU WILL FEEL FOR DOING WHAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, YuukiBear +, writes (31 January 2009):
 Well... talk to him about it. Tell him that you didn't want to and that it was wrong of him to pressure you like that. If he gets mad then you should leave. If he apologizes or says you don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with then he is good. Well yeah... that is just my oppinion.
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