A
female
age
36-40,
*mmagreeneyes
writes:Hi,I really need some advice, I've met a really lovely guy who is in tbe military. But I'm concerned he might be gay. He can be camp at times, loves cleaning and ironingit took 7 dates for him to kiss me which I instigated and also said his male boss massages his shoulder at work.He describes himself as shy and after our kiss he said he wanted to before but was a wimp!His very close to his mum, sister and nan so I'm sure if his feminity is down to that?I just have got a feeling that I can't explan, I've never thought this of previous boyfriends.I know this post might sound silly but I really like him and don't want to start something if he is.Does anyone have any experience?Thank you
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female
reader, Emmagreeneyes +, writes (24 February 2012):
Emmagreeneyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
Thank you everyone for advice. I did want to ask but its difficult I just don't want to offend him but your right the obly way to know is to ask!
Xx
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (21 February 2012):
 Get a gay friend or acquaintance to hang out with you two and he'll be able to tell you with more certainty. In college I was roomates with a girl, who had MANY gay friends. There were a few who never admit that they were gay, but they were. If you ask him, you may not get the most truthful response as many still feel uncomfortable with their sexuality or ashamed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): When in doubt don't proceed. It doesn't matter what others think. How u feel can make or break a relationship n ur in doubt so move on to another guy.
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A
female
reader, itcantjustbeme +, writes (21 February 2012):
 I don't have experience in the field but I do think there are a few things to concider;
If he's going on dates with you he likes you. (Maybe he doesn't know he's gay, but for the moment he likes you)
Men who are close with their mothers and female family do typically pick up a lot of their (feminine) characteristics. (Not exactly meaning the liking men part)
He may just be shy and a lot of girls would concider a clean man who likes to iron a blessing.
If its something that you can't seem to see past maybe you should just concider it to be a wash. Because not being able to see him in a heterosexual way would be a big issue for your relationship. Because you'd find yourself less attracted to a man who seemed insincere in his own self.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (20 February 2012):
 So. Ask him if he's gay?
It's not that hard, you're a grown up now and can talk about things like this without giggling like a schoolgirl, right? ;-)
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A
male
reader, topher747 +, writes (20 February 2012):
 i am gay, and im all those things you have described but so are some of my straight friends, it can be hard to find out a persons sexuality just by looking at there actions.
the best advice i can give you is to ask him in a careful way so that you don't offend him if he isnt.
sorry i cant help any more,
toph
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 February 2012):
 Here's a revolutionary suggestion: Ask him!!!!
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): Hi,
The only way for you to find out if he is attracted to women (and most of all you!)or to men and women or just men is to ask him in a non-offensive way. I mean, you could bring the topic of sexual attraction after having told him how you feel in order to clear up the air about whether the relationship between the two of you is possible. Trust me, asking him about his feelings is the only way to be sure and to avoid getting hurt. I have fallen in love with a gay friend and it was really a mess, and very painful so please speak to him avoid putting yourself into that kind of situation. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (20 February 2012):
 Granted, you have said things that would make people question his sexuality, but I have known of guys like him` and after years of speculation, ended up married with kids but are still camp, but not gay. I dont know if he`s gay or not, but there are also big strong macho types you would never believe are gay too. The best person to answer your question is him. He may just be a sensitive straight guy.
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