A
female
age
30-35,
*cutedivision
writes:the guy i have been messing with for 7 months has finally asked me out.but i really think he has another girl on the side.but i really want him to love me and be faithful.i dont know how to make him feel that way.i want to make him jealous without him calling me a whore or a slut.i just want to change his feelings towards me and make him stop cheating.i asked him the other day to show me his phone but he wasnt letting me get in.its like hes hiding something.hes everything i dont want,but hes the only thing i do want.how can i change this guy???
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female
reader, Tine  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 You will never change a man honey unless he wants to change himself and it sounds as though here this man does not want to change.
But ask yourself this, what is it about him that makes him so great?? His ability to keep things from you or the secretive way he lives his life??
The fact that you've stated that you are only messing with this guy says that you are not sure where you stand with him. You need to decide what you want from him whether it be a relationship or just to carry on the way you are now, and if you decide you want to make things official he will need to stop being so secretive and let you in, if he is not prepared to do that then dump him and move on because as i've said you will never be able to change someone who does not want to be changed.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 February 2010):
You have a huge amount to learn about men if you're asking about how to change one. The is one huge rule about men that you must never forget.
You cannot change a man. He must change himself.
You are wondering about how to change him? You can't. That's the point. Only he can change himself, if he wants to. And if he is cheating, he doesn't want to change. The other issue is that you think he has someone on the side. You don't know for sure. He doesn't have to show you his phone. You should be able to trust him. If you can't trust him, then leave. But don't sit there thinking you can change him. You can't.
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