A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had a crush on an old friend of mine. After many years, he recently wanted to 'hang out' as he ended up working in the same city as me...so we went out for coffee yesterday.It was like the date with a guy that I'd always wanted to have...finally happened. :)So both of us have dated people on and off...but we are both single as of now.HE's a nice guy.Well, when I met him...he gave me an awkward hug...it was kinda embarrassing actually because it's been like...4 years since we last met :D and I am a very shy person.Anyhow the place we had coffee at was very boring, so we went to another place...it was a lounge. The ambience was kind of romantic...they had these tiny hut thingys where a maximum of two people could sit with very dim lights, a tiny waterfall and soft music.I guess it took a bit of alcohol for us to get talking; but it was nice...I mean I spent almost 3 hours talking to him in that place- but I could not gauge from his expression whether he was getting bored or not...he didn't look too bored though.He also dropped me all the way back home on his Bike...so that I would not have to take a cab, my place is pretty far from his.Once I reached home, he walked me all the way to my door step...another awkward hug and that was it.I was just wondering...did he bring me to that lounge just because he wanted to drink...or was it because he might...just might be a wee bit interested in me...Was he just being a nice guy? Because...I seriously did not feel as though he was interested...none of the signs were there...
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm i'll take your advice, thanks a lot...:)
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 He brought you out with him because you are an old friend and he wanted to catch up with you, same reason you had for meeting him and going to that place with him.
But, it was the first meet-up you had in 4 years. Get to know him again, sort of, figure out what he's been up to, what he's doing now, and where he's heading. Same as if you just met a new interesting guy you might see yourself in a relationship. Then pursue him like you'd pursue any other guy. Except you already have the benefit of knowing this guy.
Just keep your feelers out, maybe flirt a little, and see how he responds. If after a few more dates/meetings you are still unsure of him, perhaps you should be more direct and ask him out on a romantic date. Be sure to tell him that if he declines you will still wish to be his friend, and won't ask again.
For the record, guessing by people's actions is tricky or impossible. Some guys flirt and others call it normal behaviour, and then what's normal behaviour to some is heavy flirting to others. You just can't be sure unless you're on the same wavelength. But if you sense there might be something more going on... then go for it, find out if there actually is something more than friendship there.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (4 March 2011):
He is super interested in you. I wonder why he didnt kiss you, but that could be a good sign meaning that he was not looking to hook up. He seems to want something serious so give him a chance. Good luck!
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