A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i was sexually assaulted by my a family member earlier this year and it can really screw me up at times. its not as bad as whatsome people go thru but that doesnt mean it doesnt affect me. i had to explain to my friend today, which im totally fine with, but it sometimes gets to me and i have a bit of a panic attack. i couldnt concentrate on what people were saying to me and i was just staring at the floor, but i realised my thumbs hurt and i was scratching my thumbs with my nails. it really hurt when i realised what i was doing but i couldnt stop it, whenever i stopped thinking about it, i started to scratch again. i ended up putting bandaids over my thumbs to protect them but i kept pulling at them and even scratching a the bandaids. its never goten this bad before. how can i prevent it from happening again? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): We need you to heal babes, we need you to get beyond this pain and find some peace in your life. Listen to the aunts and uncles, take the numbers that Tish has given you and talk to some people that can help. They will understand, they know how you feel, these people have been hurt too, they know how painfull it is. Call them, tell them how you feel. We want you to be happy, don't let the bastards win, don't let them spoil your life anymore, fight back babes, get well and have a happy life. Call these people and break the silence, stop the pain, and make your own happiness in life.. Thanks for telling us your story, blessings, we're wishing you happiness and good luck, and all the riches that the world has to offer you... Big, big, hugs....
A
female
reader, mature teen!  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Hi hun, Right never balme yourself that is the first and most important thing. You may feel alone in this but your not. Talk to someone if you havn't already! It is a scary and painful thing to do but i promise it helps.
About the self harming you did right to try and protect youself with the bandaids. Try putting an elastic band on you wrist, ever time you find yourself hurting yourself or thinking about doing it flick the elastic band. it hurts but dosent damamge you. Or try a bag of frosen peas or something similar. The cold feeling starts to hurt but again dosen't damamge you.
You are a really brave girl. don't class yourself as a victim i hate that word. You are a suvivor!
Take care babe and best wishes.
Keep in touch.
XxX
P.s You are not alone! X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): Hi i feel for you as i have been in the same shoes as you twice - when i was 6 and when i was 13 just b4 my 14th birthday. Go get help. It aint like me to say that either as i didnt have the support i needed. I was told by the lawyer i had a nightmare about when i was six and thats all it was put down too. Im crying now because it still tears me inside i am 18 now and i am still a mess. Get help girl my hearts with you. U dont want to still be down like i am when you hit 18
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Hi, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you and that you're having problems as a result. The other aunts are correct in saying that you need to tell someone about this. A burden shared is a burden lightened, and you are far too young to be carrying this inside you without any help.
I saw from your flag that you are in Australia, is that correct? I have some numbers that might be of help to you. I don't know where you are in the country, so I've given you a large list. Just choose the one that is closest to you, okay? And call them for some advice from people who are trained in situations like this.
You have been very strong and brave to come here and ask for advice, I'm sure that you will come through this with some help.
XXX
Kids Helpline - 1800 551 800
CANBERRA
Child Abuse Prevention Services - 1800 688 009
Crisis & Assessment (Triage) Team - 02 6205 1065 or 1800 629 354 (24 HOURS)
NEW SOUTH WALES
Child Abuse Line – 1800 066 777
Child Abuse Prevention Services – 02 9716 8000 or 1800 688 009
Sexual Assault Counselling – 02 9926 7580
Youthline Western Sydney – 02 9633 3666
Youth Hotline – 1300 364 004
Youth Line Sydney – 02 9951 5522
NORTHERN TERRITORY
Child Abuse Prevention Services - 1800 688 009
Child Abuse Reporting - 1800 700 250
Sexual Assault Referral Services Alice Springs - 08 8951 5880
Sexual Assault Referral Services Alice Springs after hrs - 08 8951 7777
Sexual Assault Referral Services Darwin - 08 8922 7156 (24 HOURS)
Sexual Assault Referral Services Katherine - 08 8971 0777
Sexual Assault Referral Services Katherine After hrs - 08 8973 9211
Sexual Assault Referral Services Tenant Creek - 08 8962 1715
Sexual Assault Referral Services Tenant Creek after hrs - 08 8962 4399
QUEENSLAND
Child Protection Services - 07 3235 9999
Statewide Sexual Assault Helpline - 1800 010 120
SOUTH AUSTRALIA
Child Abuse Prevention Services - 1800 688 009
Child Abuse Report Line - 13 14 78
Rape & Sexual assault Service - 08 8226 8787
TASMANIA
Child Abuse Prevention Services - 1800 688 009
Child Youth & Family support - 1800 001 219
Sexual Assault Support - 03 6231 1811
VICTORIA
Child Abuse – 13 1278
Child Abuse Prevention Services – 1800 688 009
Sexual Assault – 03 9344 2210 or 1800 806 292
WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Child Abuse Prevention Services - 1800 688 009
Child Sexual Abuse Service (Princess Marg Hosp) - 08 9340 8222
Sexual Assault Resource Centre - 08 9340 1828 or 1800 199 888
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A
female
reader, Happivibes +, writes (21 August 2008):
 ok hi, this is not in any way at level your fault.
The way you feel is entirely normal, its the way we know what is right and wrong. You know that this person has done wrong but because you are relatively powerless you take the bad feelings on yourself.
I note that one aunt told you that this sort of xperience can ruin entire lives. This is not true. You will overcome this and you will walk forward feeling powerful and strong. here is how.
1. Please confide in a teacher, friends parents or go to your doctor. Obviously the best thing is to tell your own parents. You will feel afraid of doing this because the abuser is in the family...most abusers are and get away with it because they think you are too afraid to tell. you are way way more important than this person. you have a right to protect yourself and to stop anyone from taking advantage of you.
2.Understand that this person has major problems and needs to be stopped, you can stop him...assuming a him because it usually is a man.
3. Take a look in the mirror, see your self, stand tall, smile and say I am important, this experience is horrible and I do not like it so I will take action to stop it.
4 a young person is never ever to blame in any way.
5. Self harm is your mind telling you that you need to have this dealt with but you do not know what to do, so you go to the doctor/nurse and ask for help with the self harm..they will ask questions that will enable you to open up and tell them.
6.Silence is not the way ahead, you will be strong and survive psychologically by having the strength to speak out.
7. if this family member lives with you, then its urgent that you speak to an outside trusted adult, they will help you tell your mum, as the longer you keep quiet the safer the abuser will feel to continue this bullying abuse.
8. you are a unique human being and many many people have been through this and lead happy and fulfilled lives, but it is your life and you have to take control, right here today.
you are going to be ok, come back if you need more advice.
Take care. x
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (21 August 2008):
 First of all, you need to tell somebody if you haven't already. A trusted family member who would believe and support you would be best. If that is not possible, the next best would be a school counselor or a medical provider like your doctor or nurse. But find a responsible and authoritative adult that you can trust.
You experienced the sort of thing that can cause very deep psychological hurt, and something like that can literally ruin the rest of your life. You need to be working with an experienced counselor who is trained to help you understand that you are an innocent victim here, and to accept that and to put your fears and horrors to rest. The only way that is going to happen is if you reach out for some help. This is not something that can wait. You are already seeing the scars starting to show in your life. It is not going to get any better and it is not going to go away by itself. It is just going to get worse.
Get help. Tell someone. And remember that you need to love yourself and constantly recall that you are not to blame.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (21 August 2008):
 you need to see your local gp about this, this problem is affecting you and you need to sort it out in able to get over it..this isnt something that will just go away if you do not sort it out, your gp will be able to help you with these problems and put you on the right path. please go see them now and get this sorted so things can and will be better for you.. all the best aphexy xx hugs
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