A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i was groped by my cousin at the beginning of this year and it has messed up parts of my life.i find that i cant sleep at night every now and then because im scared of being alone and that a stranger, or my cousin, will come into the room and take advantage of me. how can i stop these nights from occuring?also... lately iv been feeling really dirty and disgusting and iv been really ashamed of my body. like everybody thinks im foul and i dont like wearing short sleeved shirts or shirts showing my chest. how can i help this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told someone and we sorted it all out by the way (sorry for the late update! life goes on and such). I am totally comfortable with him now, and he knows he was in the wrong. I still have the occasional panic attack and it amazes me that even a grope can still cause so much stress! All is well and I am now in a happy, healthy relationship. Thankyou all for your advise! xxx
A
female
reader, mature teen!  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Hi babe, First thing is don't be scared!!! You are not dirty and people don't think that of you!
Try to talk to someone! parents, A school nurse, teacher, some kind of peer! Some one you feel safe with. I know you are scared hun but try not to be. That will just make you worse. Try sleeping with a light on or the radio or tv. Just so you don't feel alone. You are not alone there is so much help out there for you.
May i ask is you cousin older than you?
He was in the wrong and he know's that. He shouldn't have done the thing's he did to you!
Remember never to blame yourself! It is not your fault!
You didn't ask him to do this to you.
You will grow stronger from this babe.
I know it can be a scary thing to do telling someone but i promise it does help. You do not want to go bottling this up inside you because one day you will explode.
Try telling somebody hun!
Take care and best wishes Hun.
Let us know how it goes!
XxX
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 By all means tell an adult about this as soon as possible. Your parents would be best, but if you seriously have problems with talking to them about it perhaps there is a counselor at school or a doctor or nurse that you could discuss it with. But do NOT just keep it to yourself.
You are a victim here, and you have done absolutely nothing wrong. Somebody took advantage of you. What he did was wrong, but you are not to blame in any way, and there is absolutely no reason for you to feel bad about it. But in order for you to really understand exactly why this is so and to really deeply accept this entirely, you are probably going to have to work with a professional who is trained to deal with people who have undergone the kinds of experiences you have. This is something that should be done right away, because if you let it go on it can quite literally ruin your life. And what your cousin did was bad enough, without letting the consequences of what he did steal the rest of your life from you.
Please tell somebody and get help right away with understanding this terrible event and accepting your own innocence and learning to love yourself and feel safe once again.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Cant you tell your mum or dad about it sweetie?
Your cousin needs telling off, so that he doesnt do that again. If he is older, thats a whole different ball game.
The reason that you feel the way you do, is because of what your cousin did. There is nothing wrong with you Honey, just the opposite. You just need to tell an adult what has happened so they can protect you.
XXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): aw darling! i think you should tell someone like your mum what he did, because that's not right. If you find it hard to sleep try leaving the radio on so you have something to listen to so you don't feel alone. You need to change your self perception of yourself, every day, before you go out try complimenting one bit of your physical appearance, and at night say one thing that makes you proud of yourself. Hopefully your shame will go away, and your confidence shall ripen!
XxXx
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