A
female
age
36-40,
*opazapella
writes:I fancy my boyfriend's brother so much, it kills me to look at him. I don't think I've ever felt such a strong sexual desire for anyone. The more I try not to think about it the more I do. I really don't want to feel like this but I'm not sure how I'm meant to control my own hormones? I can't exactly ignore it because it affects the way I am with him socially. I become very shy and withdrawn whilst inside my mind is reeling and I struggle to think of anything else in his company. It's also affecting the sexual side of the relationship I have with my boyfriend. We've been having problems for over a year now - we've both had seperate issues which I won't get into here - but it doesn't help that the only thing I have in my head from the moment he starts kissing me is his older brother. I've tried keeping my eyes open and focusing on my boyfriend instead but I find myself not enjoying it and when my boyfriend realises that I'm not - which he always does - he wants to know why. Please help me. What is the best way to get over him without anyone getting hurt?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I think the crux of the problem is that you and your current boyfriend seem to be at odds with one another right now. You state in your post that you've been having problems for over a year now. You don't go into details about what sort of problems you've been having, nor do you tell us how bad they are and how "real" the problems are.
Your boyfriend's brother is available and looks like a good catch. Perhaps he is.
But I think honestly, you need to determine if your current relationship is salvageable. If you guys are beating on a dead horse, then perhaps it's time to call it over.
However, seeking a relationship with his brother, especially right away, will cause anger. There is no way to avoid this and it will be something that you and him will have to deal with.
There are no easy answers here but I think you have some decisions to make and you'll have to weigh the costs of them. Also, you are capable of restraint (more so than you think) so don't buy into the excuse that his brother's sexual pull is irresistible. You are in, from the looks of it, a committed relationship, so be sure you are committed to it as well.
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