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age
51-59,
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writes: i feel i have scard my man away, we are in a LDR been with each other over a year and half now, well commited see each other best we can when we can, he has texted me every t break and dinner break while at work, and spoke to me every night on msn since we met, when we are together he is so kind caring and loving with me, has a problem telling me how he feels is quite shy like i am too, but he shows me with actions the little things he does so that reasures me everything fine, the other night on msn i laid my card on the tables and told me him how i feel, i have slowly been falling for this man now and been dying to tell him how i feel, but was scared to in case i scared him off, i told him i never want to loose him or let anything or anyone ever come between us, and that i feel i truley love him, he never said anything back went all quiet on his side of the msn, so then i just carried on with normal conversation and we was back talking again, i feel i have scared him off a bit, cause the other night he usually comes on msn after 8, and if he his gona be that bit late he would text and say, he did not come on till nearly gone 10, so i just said oh you been busy tonight not asking him why you not on before thought it but not said it, he said no been up town to get some shopping and present for my daughters friend it was her birthday, and then got back put his child to bed did some washing up put his shoping away, but i feel i have scard him with what i said, i text him today just to say hello and hope his day is good to whatever he does and catch him later, got no reply i feel sick i should of kept my feelings to myself, but i was only been honest and known him for over a year and half now and thought was best to tell him now, but maybe not feel i have lost him or scard him off any advice please
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your reply male anonymous reader, it made me feel better to what you wrote on here, i was going to have a heart to heart with him when i next see him and ask him why cant he open up and say what he feels, cause i know he feels something cause of the actions he does, but cause of what i have read what you put i wont now, cause i dont want to push him away thats the last thing i want to do, also when he was on about it to me that he finds it hard to say what he feels, he said he give his love before to his ex and where did that get me he said, cause she turned out to be a crazy women shes in prison to prove it, he dont have anything to do with her has said to me the further the prison she is in the better, so maybe thats something to do with why he cant say or wont let himself want to feel, scard to give his all and be thinking he might get let down again, but i am no crazy women people see me has a kind caring loving person would not hurt a fly thats me, and i so wish he could see that i think he does see it but maybe not letting himself, but i will leave him to slowly lay his cards on the table, i know that once how he says how he feels i know he will mean it 100%, thats the type of guy he his he once was having a bit of a problem commiting to me, when we first met and he told me this, he said once i get over that bit i will be fine it was just the doing, i think it does have a lot to do with his ex he also bottles a lot of things up too says thats the best way he deals with pain locks it away, but i dont think thats a good way, cause i think it comes up and bites you again, and it seems to be doing that its efecting how he can feel for me, when he met me he said he had been waiting for a girl like me for over 2 year to come along but i feel that now i am here i feel he dont want it or cant let himself want it and enjoy it cause of his past anyway thanks for your reply.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): what the hell, dont listen to miss butterfly, another warped sense of perception she is craetnig for herself thinking she knows how msot men act. Listen im telling you this from first hadn experience in this kind of thing, iv been through 2 LONG TERM LDR's. And they are completly different to close proximity relationships, so you cant go basing how one man will act on a close proximity relationship and compare it to how one would act in a long dsitance one. I can tell you right now, you have no scared him off, he is probbaly thinking abuot this very issue as you read this. I think you just have laid your cards on table and it is his turn to play, lets just say he is probably thinking about what he is going to say back to you, he may not be sure that your intentions are true, or that your love is true, men are careful like that, we dont want to put in all our effort, to only find out that the love from the women we are seing/dating/married, turns out to be fake love. I know sounds crazy right, but this is how we think. Dont believe those stupid books and movies uch as " hes not not that raelly into you" bullshit. Most men are emotional creatures, yet we hold it in untill we know its the right tmie to say something. I suggest just leaving it as it is and not questioninig or preasuring him with a response, because tht my freind, will indeed push him away. Just carry on and act normal as you would with eacother and let him slowly lay his ards on the table, you must take things as they come, take things slow 1 day at a time and try not think aout it to much because i garantee it is on his mind like no tommorow. Good luck in your journy my freind ...
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 read why men love bitches and why men marry bitches. keeping a man interested isnt hard work.actually its less work. these 2 books changed my life. and yeah i agree on u on not waiting forever for him to open up and tell u what he thinks. thats why i said wait till he contacts u,and act slightly cold when u talk to him on the phone. if he mentions msn say u will be busy and that he can call u later. when he calls u later tell him that u know he saw what u said and u wanna know his response on this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks again mizz butterflies for your reply, your right about msn get stuck what to talk about, so all goes silence with us, maybe we should give it a miss now and again, and yes make him miss me, cause that text he sent me to say he was gonna be late i must of been in his mind somewhere there, anyway thanks again, i hope your right i hope he does tell me how he feels one day, but i cant wait for ever, especially now i have read what Fionnlagh said, about he dont think he feels the same for me, and dont seem to care or have me in mind, and if hes not chasing me up on what i feel hes not the one for me, which upset me a lot actually, cause this man i am with has introduced me to his family his friends, have been out with them as well, so why would he do that if he dont feel the same, anyway again thanks.
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (2 October 2010):
you're welcome :-) The thing is,I know you didnt say anything else because he already gave you no answer to what you already said. however,he should feel that you VALUE your feelings so he should eventually tell you what he thinks. Just wait for him to contact you first. If he tells you he is on MSN, tell him you are busy (make him miss you)..i also dont think it healthy that u spend EVERY evening talking to each other.it becomes a boring routine. Make the man miss you,say you went to a play or a ceremony or something....see if he calls you the next day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks mizz butterflies for your reply, to be honest i dare not ask him anything else about what i said, really feel really stupid, and yes i could of waitied till i saw him next time, i guess my feelings just took over and i just let all out, also when i said in my first question, i wrote on here about this situation, that i had text him today just to say hello and he never text me back, he did text me back before 8 to say, he will be a little late on msn, and thats what he usually does if hes gonna be late texts me, so i was pleased to get that text, maybe what i have said yes as taken him by suprise, but also could of opened up something on him too, now he knows how i feel he might just tell me how he feels i will let him talk first and i will take your advice on board again thanks for your reply.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): I don't think he feels the same way about you.
Sorry to be blunt, but I go out of my way to make sure the girl that loves me is ok. I'm in a LDR myself. He doesn't seem like he really cares or has you in mind.
Telling you how his day went isn't the same as talking about each other and spending time together. MSN and Texting is fine for sweet nothings and sex talk, but when it comes to heartfelt feelings and soul discovering, you really need to hear each other talk upfront.
You may feel the need to do some investigation, but if he isn't chasing you up to know how you feel, he isn't the one for you. You sound like a sweet person, but all you can do is meet him halfway.
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (2 October 2010):
it was stupid of you telling him on msn since you guys seee each other in real life.u should have waited till u met him again.....hes probably taken aback now. stop trying to contact him.let him talk to you and tell him u know he saw what u wrote so he doesnt have to ignore it in case u get hurt. ask him to tell u what he thinks.
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