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female
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*olly3
writes: Hi There, I recently, about 6 weeks ago met a guy. When I met him, because I had 3 weddings coming up, I thought he was cute, a great dancer and would be a great partner for my weddings. TO make a long story short, we have been seeing each other for the last few weeks, but i have reservations and here are my reasons: Firstly, I haven't met a guy for a while, have alwasy been considered to have been very fussy, but said I'd give this guy a go because I found him very appealing, atractive, a good age 2 years older than me, 37 years old, a very genuine nice guy, but already I find myself getting very iritable with him. Our backgrounds are somewhat different in that he's never been to college, education was huge in my family, not in his at all it seems; he does't show much ambition,he has no car, has been talking about getting one since we've met, but still hasn't; he is renting, is expressing no interest in owning his own property; he tries to please me all the time, but I'd nearly prefer if he expressed his own opinions rather than agreeing with me all the time; he doesn't show much responsibility, we've had sex but each time without a condom, he just felt uncomfortable asking for condoms in my local pharmacy (although maybe I should have got them, but is that not up to the guy?); he is very easy going and I think his lack of ambition and education is really getting to me. I was at a wedding with him recently, and found all his friends pretty rough, always talking about money and how much things were (I hate that), and to be honest I am not proud of his job, works at the races, betting for a living and has been doing this for 10 years, I don't find his job interesting at all, and switch off alot when he talks boutit.Isn't that so mean of me? Poor guy is just trying to make a living, but, will never have a pension, and is vague about his future plans. I guess at this stage in my life I am looking at things much differently than when I was younger, and these things are importatn to me, the way I was brought up. I feel i'm not being fair to him, getting irritable and onto him already about a car, house etc.. I only know him six weeks, god am I a pain?? Am i being too fussy again? It's not like a honey moon period at all for me, never has been, but i felt that maybe he'd grow on me more, and he has I must admit, more each time I meet him, but when I think about things or meet my famly, I find myself becoming irritable with him again. He has asked me to go on a hol with him, part of me would like to thinking that maybe I'll see how things work out after that, or if I'm feeling like this now, will it always be the same? I am very independent, but would love to settle down, and be in a relationship, I am the type of person that could just go with the flow, but I have done this before and before and before, and wasted time then tryin move on, but as my sister says, you have to give it time, when you meet someone. Some advice would be much appreciated!!
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ambition, condom, money, move on, period, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (15 October 2007):
Dump him now. You can't uncnditionally love a guy with so many faults in your eyes. You are wasting his time and yours. What genetics do you want for your children.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/513
No one can answer these questions for you. Above is a great article and excercise in how to make good choices in a partner when you are dating and looking for something "more".
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