A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:In order for me to be clear of guilt and move on with my life, I needed to ask for forgiveness from my daughter's dad. I've said and done some things I shouldn't have said or done. The things he's done to us don't quite as done it as well. But that doesn't mean two wrongs make a right. He's done far worse things to us and I am still hurting. I asked for forgiveness however, he won't accept it. I've tried and that's all that matters. I miss him so much and yes, I still do love him but I refuse to put myself and especially my daughter through a situation he had put us through. He blames me for not letting him spend time with his daughter however, he signed over his rights, he doesn't even call to see how she is doing, doesn't call to see if she needs anything, etc. My daughter may not see it right now but she'll be wondering where her "daddy" is and I will have to explain to her why and what happened. I want her to know her dad but why force an issue when he doesn't want to? any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. My daughter has a right to know her dad. I say dad because he's not a father. A father is someone who provides, support mentally and financially, loves, etc. But she's not getting that at all. I feel for my daughter. That's why I will no longer have him in her life. She will decide whether or not she wants to know him. He has two kids from his first marriage that he has custody for and he's also busy with being a womanizer. So I am truly done trying.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): I dont see why you have to apoligise at all. Never stand in his way if he wants to see his child and just live your life as you want. In the future you child can make the decision if she wants to spend more time with her father. But i do not see why you have to apoligise.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
Just tell her the truth and don't stand in the way of him seeing his daughter.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 October 2007):
 Whether or not he accepts your forgiveness, It's important for the apology. It's his choice if it's accepted or not.
What you have to do is forgive yourself, and you have to forgive him. It doesn't help to just say sorry, unless you're able to forgive yourself and forgive others for what they did against you.
Don't take his blame. We all have choices to make and if he made the choice not to see his daughter, that is his choice. You can't be held responsible or guilty for a choice someone else makes.
If he wants to build a relationship with his daughter, I'd allow him to, but he had to make the effort, not you.
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