A
female
age
36-40,
*rinitygrace
writes:And no I am not talking about meltdowns from a 2-year-old, I'm unfortunatley talking about meltdowns from myself. I'm 24-years-old and recovering from depression. I hold down a full-time job and got a bachelor's degree so I have not let it completely ruin my life. I am currently 5 months pregnant and on no medication. I was on meds for a year and a half for depression prior to becoming pregnant but as soon as I tested positive, I stopped.Things seemed fine. They still do 99.9 percent of the time. I have been very lucky. However, about once a month- once every 6 weeks, I have what I call a meltdown where I lose complete control of myself. I cry for hours to the point where I vomit. They are usually spurred on by fights with my fiance. When I cry, he doesn't feel remorseful, he just makes things worse by telling me I horrible things and making me feel more guilty for fighting with him. I apologize over and over again for things I know I don't need to keep apologizing for. It just annoys him when I get like this so he gets more mad and I cry harder. I don't know how to stop it. I usually end up crying myself to sleep and he ends up on the couch downstairs because he gets so mad at me for crying. All I want him to do is hold me and tell me how much he loves me and tell me that we are just having a fight. He won't though. Instead he makes things worse by telling me I act crazy and psychotic. He keeps saying if I act like this when our little girl comes he doesn't know what he is going to do .I want to get help more than anything for my meltdowns for myself, him, and especially my little girl. I get scared that she is harmed when I get this upset. I also am so scared I will allow myself to act like this when she is here. I simply can't. I can't let her see me like this.What should I do? How do I stop them? I was thinking I need to develop a game plan for when I feel them coming on, like a plan to deter them. I'm not sure what to do though.Any suggestions, advice, guidance would be greatly appreciate at this time! And please pray for me and keep me in your thoughts!_________________
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 Being on the medication for that long, as i have recently found out can have a big impact on you when stopped just like that, i know obviously you are pregnant but it may be worth telling your doctor how you are feeling at the moment and see if they can suggest anything that is safe to take in pregnancy.
Most anti depressant drugs you have to come off of gradually over a period of months, otherwise the illness will come back.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, Ask_HanBan +, writes (10 July 2007):
 first and foremost, tell this to your fiance!
he has no room talk because he's the one carrying your child, u are. ur hormoans are messed up, its perfectly normal.
the fact that he insults his pregnant fiance is outragous, wen u feel urself starting to bubble up, call a girlfriend, buy a big box of chocolates, order a take away and watch a chick flick.
gd luk :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 July 2007):
 Well honey, pregnancy can do this to anybody but it can be especially hard on a depressed personality. Since medication is out of the picture I really think talking with a therapist would be a huge help to you. He/she may have some techniques you can use to deter or alleviate your meltdowns. People need to learn how to comfort themselves so they aren't too dependent on others to do it for them. Call your local counselor helpline and see who they recommend you make an appointment with. I really think this will make you much better.
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