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I have health issues which will be fixed, but will the spark come back/

Tagged as: Health, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *ingmom76 writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. We have a 3 year old son. Obviously that means I got pregnant very early in our relationship. It went from 0 to 60 very fast and we were not able to have a your average honeymoon period. He was your typical "playboy" prior to me. He says our sex life is boring and he doesn't think you get that passion back. I love him very much and want to please him. For the past couple years I haven't been able to enjoy sex because it is too painful. Found out this past week I have uterine prolapse and will have to have a hysterectomy. I have to admit, sex hasn't been exciting because it always is painful which I now know is due to the prolapse. This has also caused my vagina to become "loose" so its not pleasuable for him either. Sex is a big deal to him and I am afraid I will lose him. The surgery will fix these issues but I fear its too late. What can I do to reignite the fire? I don't want to lose my family over this. Also, this has caused me great depression and insecurity for me. I am so scared he will find someone else. I need help!!! I want to save my relationship and before I go through this hysterectomy. I don't want to go through it alone!

View related questions: period, sex life, spark, vagina

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (5 April 2010):

janniepeg agony auntNow is not a time to think about lust and passion. You are going to have a major surgery. He should be spending nights with you at the hospital. Save yourself first, before the relationship. I personally know women who had hysterectomies and was horny and wet as before. I recommend you read women's bodies women's wisdom. You will learn to have a closer relationship with your body rather than treating it in terms of pathology and hard-to-read chemical names. It has a section on healing yourself after a surgery. Do Kegel exercises. Love yourself. He doesn't sound like a guy you want to hang on to. You are responsible for your own happiness. Don't give that power away to someone who wants instant gratification. You cannot rush that healing process. Your pressure that you are giving yourself would hinder your body to do what it needs to do.

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