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Does the teacher's behavior seem odd?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Just to give a heads up, no this is not one of those 'I'm in love with my teacher' questions. But, this is a question still on the same subject.

Where to begin? I live in one of those typical towns surrounded by corn. Everybody knows everyone and every 'professional' is a family friend. Because of this, it's very ordinary to have inappropriate behavior in school between teachers and students (ex./ teacher jokingly gives headlock to student in middle of class,perverted jokes,call by first name, etc.) I'm very used to this playful behavior and it's very normal in the community.

However, one teacher of mine's behavior seems....odd.

No, I do not have a crush on him. He is attractive, but I only admire and respect him. I don't have a romantic interest. We are very similar(same interests, same music, same behavior)and make for good conversation.I like to think of him as a friend on a professional level.

But, let's move on to what seems odd. For some reason, I'm seperated from the rest of the class. I sit right next to his desk. By myself in my lonely row.I'm not a troublemaker nor am I a 'talker'. He has moved everyone else all year to different seats on multiple occassions except for me. He says he just likes me there. I sit there and listen to him daily talk about his life, interests, talk about me. Normal. I am kicked in the leg, my stuff stolen, his things left on my desk. This only happens to me. He takes my Ipod during worktime from across his desk and goes through it because he wanted to 'see if I had any pictures'and plays with it.

If he gives a speech and I have my hands on my desk, he will then decide to sit his butt down on my desk. Of course this is all playful. He comes in after lunch break and had given me candy, nachos from a mexican restaurant he went, etc. He has cheated my tests we've had to give me a perfect score including lying to rest of the class on a review game. I had a perfect score on my final. Apparently it doesn't matter though, because I'm a good writer anyway. He joked that we were going to co-author. He likes to show off his athletic talents, boast about his feats, describe a a giant scar on his chest, how he doesn't love his girlfriend,and reveal every detail about his personal life. Yes, he's one of those people.

He gifted me a book during a game and everyone complained that he wasn't allowed to do that. He gave it to me and said it didn't matter as long as no one found out. Everyone went back to work. He smirked and winked at me, then handed it over. That was weird. At the end of the day (not the one mentioned above)I was alone in the hallway near the wall, I passed him and he was directly in the center walking. Suddenly I was smashed into a door corner with someone pressed up against my back, I turn around and it's him. He walks away in a split second and goes on. He is very spacey, I never actually thought anything of it. We were talking and out the blue he says I look like an actress. I just said 'Oh really now' sarcastically because I didn't know what to say to that.

He's kind of perverted, especially jokes, and I thought saying just the lines 'hike your skirt a little higher and show me your world' was kind of inappropriate during conversation, even though that is a good song.

He asks to leave school and walk over to the library with him because he doesn't have a card and needs someone who does, or run out to his car. I've always just found him to be a very friendly person but recently my friend was unsettled because it seemed weird that I'm the only person this happpens to. I denied it, then researched around, yes, it only happens to me. No I do not think he is a pedo or anything like that. Upon review of his actions though; these did seem kind of weird. He doesn't act like this all the time. He is very intelligent, though a cocky clumsy idiot at times, he remains otherwise professional. On one of the notes he wrote on my papers he said that he saw greatness in me. I think he just likes me as a student that reminds him of himself. I am just asking for an opinion and want to see how others see this. I apologize that this is so long.

View related questions: crush, move on, my teacher

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A female reader, ffogalilly United States +, writes (5 April 2010):

His behavior is not appropriate, he is breaking the boundaries that a teacher and student are supposed to have.

That is not how a teacher is supposed to behave, he is sexually harassing you, and he should be fired for it.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (5 April 2010):

janniepeg agony auntI am 29, you remind me of my high school days because I was a magnet for those kind of teachers. They liked my mom even. I had a private math tutor when I was a rebellious 15 year old. He was rubbing his hard on and looking at me. He would always go and check if my mom was in her bedroom. It wasn't threatening and I didn't feel he was a pedophile, just horny and maybe picking up on my hidden energies or something. I didn't tell my mom until one month later and I could see she just pretended to be angry and said I should have told her earlier. When I was 20 I had a piano teacher and he was extra expressive such as using physical gestures, only with me. One time he put his own lyrics onto a Chopin piece, which was, "I'm gonna eat a small green peach". Again, I knew he was not going to do anything to me to risk his marriage and his career. I asked his other students if he was that way to them and they said no.

Just take that as a compliment that you are sexy and desirable. You are his creative outlet and an object of fantasy.

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