A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know my husband from age 15 but we dated for almost 12years before we got married. Married for 6 years. Recently i found out that he sent a vedio clip with love song to this girl and some communications with this girl. I asked him at that time he was in china. He ofcourse denied and said he met her in Macau. I beleived him. But it did not settle. I had to chaeck more and then i found her phone number and I called her and she told me that he is her bf. so i got all the information out of her. I have 2 kids. 2nd one is only 9 months. I confrunted him and he told me that this girl is very poor and she need to support the familly and the mom forcing her to work as a prostitute and give money and so on. So she come to this country as a visitor and work in the bar. and aslo that she was raped at 17 and she is only 19 when he met her. He met her in the bar and gave his number and she sms him and they started talking and going everywhere in HKG with his expense. Even he bought this girl laptop worth HK$ 7000, mobile, watch, she asked him to go with him to china and he went with her. The girl told me that he asked her to come to Hkg and bought the ticket 2 times and he spend for the hotel and all the expenses. It turned out to be true.Few days later i found out from the credit card company that he has spent with her HK$ 80,000 + used cash. Her mobile phone bill came up to HK$ 4,000. He only earn HK$ 26,000 per month and we have 2 kids and a morgage. I earn too. But we live in HKG. It's a very expensive country and we also have so many bills to pay. I asked him why he did this? He doesn't know? He tell me he doesn't regreat what he did. But he will not make the same mistake again. But he also tell me that even if he go with anyone he will come back to me. Yester was his b'day i took him to arestauranet. When we were their he got drunk and he was saying that if we divorse he doen't have to give monney for me only for the childrens education and morgadge and he has his master degree. we paid for it together. He studied while i work and support the familly. he is telling me now he doesn't want to finish it becasue if we divorse that he don't want to hear that we paid together for the education and also don't want to support me. But i feel really terrible. Because i didn't save any for myself i spent all my money on the house bills now if we divorse i will not have anything at all no money. No husband that i loved so much and what is going to happend to my kids? But not only that in the restaurante wwhen he went to the toilet on his way back he start to chat with the waitress for about 5 minutes making me wait alone? Is this a guy thing or what? After all this he did that again and i asked him why waitress. He said it's less effort....? I really have no idea what to do? Please advise?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 Those China Dolls have wrecked many families with their youth,beauty, seductions and sob tales (Some of them con tales to elicit your sympathy and kindness.) There are only in it for the money and when the money dries up , they will dump their b/f's.
It is very sad and yours is not the only sob tales. All the men's life savings wipe out and they became pauper and they also lose the love of their families.
You can either forgive him and pick up the broken pieces of your life again or you could go your own separate ways and begin a new life.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 Speak to someone in your country who is in law. No it's not a guy thing. You're husband is a very selfish person. He seems to want what he wants with no responsibility for who gets hurt by this behavior.
I know here, if I was looking at your case, he'd be giving you some money. The purpose of him going to school was benefit to the family. You postponed your schooling and getting a head for him to go to school. Not finishing it, for the purpose of not having to pay out money could be considered a fraudulant act. If someone here did that, they could be forced to pay what the order would be as if they completed school, since that was original intent of his going.
He doesn't seem like a real nice person. If I were you, I'd end it. See someone in law and find out what your options will be in this matter.
Take care.
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