A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have been in a relationship with a married man for six years now. He and his wife were having probs when we met. Eventually he told her about us and she moved out of the house. After a year though she has now moved back in as the kids live there but I feel as if he is stringing me along with no intentions of moving ot of his multi million dollar mansion which he owns with her. Should i end it, I feel disapointed and as if I am wasting time waiting for him. He says he loves me, but is that enough. I need someone to build a life with.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): This dude isn't ever gonna do right by you now. Not since you've demonstrated that you'll settle for less. Actions speak louder than words, and this is what will really happen regardless of how much either one of you two want for it to be otherwise.Someday you'll meet a man who's REALLY worth it all. And then what will you think of how much of yourself that you gave away to this loser?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): you have to ask yourself this. if he did step out that marriage and married you do you think that he would'nt cheat on you? he wants to have the best of both worlds.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Yes, wake up !! You're half the problem in this mess. You can only take charge of your end. Don't forget, you're as guilty as he is of making this more complicated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): I did the same thing on an off with the same man for 10 years. Now I am free of him. I mean 'free' in every sense - ironically it was him that tried to get me back but I stayed strong because he only wanted me back part-time and I said I wouldn't be with him if he was the last man on earth - and I meant it. I made the break. It has to be you that does it and believe me you will feel re-born when you take that first but vital step you are living in his shadow. The rest follows so quickly and when, like I have, you meet a guy who is able to love you at any time of the day or night it will feel weird. I know all the heartaches associated with what you have been through - the missed dates, the low self esteem that keeps you hanging on in there and wondering, empty birthdays etc. One thing I would advise - you may be angry about lost time for quite a while after this. Resentment for your own actions and his need to be 'outed' so make plans to deal with this through counselling and the hurt before you leap into another relationship. Cleanse yourself and realise you have the freedom to move on now. He has to forever look at his wife and children and know how much he cheated and how long for - that is not your cross to bear. He will hang his head in shame - you have the chance to hold yours high. Don't delay any further.
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A
female
reader, Reina  +, writes (28 August 2007):
There's really nothing I can say better than Mr. Duce here. So yeah, you've got some GREAT advice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): You should've left him ever since you knew he was married, or did you know before hand?. If there is money and kids in the middlea of all this; it is more like it that both want to save their marraige; otherwise why would she move in with him again if he wasn't persuing her to do so. He does not want to break up his marriage and he will not do so. Sorry, but you need to move on with your life. Or he'll move you out of his life..
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A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Wow six years, that is a long time to be with someone who is not committed to you. Think about it, the wife moved back in...thats a HUGE RED flag that they must be working on things in order for her to move back with her cheating husband...wouldn't ya say.
Look, if things in his marriage were that bad he would have left a long time ago. He is staying in this marriage because there is something he doesnt want to let go of. However, think about it... a married man is cheating for six years on his wife/family. This man has kids and it doesnt stop him. HE doesnt have enough morals to respect his family. That says alot about him. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
You are wasting your time with a man who is not only stringing you a long but are throwing you left over scraps. I bet every time you two get together its when he can!
Six years is a long time. THink of all the things you could have accomplished in that time. You could have met someone else, possibly get engaged, etc...however, you stood with a married man!
I think you owe it to yourself and that family to let it go. Leting go of anything whether its a good or bad relationship is hard, but its going to be a lot harder when another six years go by and your in the same position as you are now, because if he hasnt left her yet ...chances are he never will.
~dee
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks duce00, I know deep down in my heart that this relationship is b...s..t but I am so loyal and in love that i am Ray Charles blind. Will have to end it.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (28 August 2007):
 WELL said duce00! Well said. 5 stars.
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A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Sounds like this guy is getting his cake and eating it too. Maybe you should stop doing all the baking though. Ive said it before. Love means loyalty, without loyalty you dont really have love. You are living an illusion, wake up and start living YOUR life.
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