I have become very troubled by my husband actions, he has lied and cheated, I don't love him anymore and want him to leave, he refuses, even threatens to burn the house down with me and the kids inside, what do I do, I am frightened? |
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A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can any one help me!I have been married for 3 yrs and have 4 children from another relationship. when me and my husband first meet everything was great and he was fine about my children, but since we got married he has changed. he is always picking at my children for no reason and shouting at them which causes alot of problem as i alway stick up for them. he has mood swings alot of the time and can act very childish aswell if he does not get his own way i am 32 and he is 42 he also has children he has 2 girls and 1 boy all by different women, when we first meet he told me he didnt have kids and had never been married before but 2 years after being married i was told by a member of his family that he had been married and that he has children. he has nothing to do with his children which makes me think that some thing is wrong. i have forgven him so many time even the time he was working away and i found out he was cheating on me. i feel my marriage is over and that i no longer love him and want him to leave and have asked him many of times to go but he wont go. i am also frightened that if i kick him out he says he will make my life and set fire to the house while me and my children sleep and i beleive him. i have no money to just up and leave and i feel that it should be him leaving and not me, he has never given me money towards the bills for the house i have to pay for every thing and as i cant work cause i dont want to leave the children with him . my children have been through enough already with the way he is. his family tell me not to put up with it but they see another side of him hes alway nice when they are about. im frightened and worried about what will happen if i kick him out. PLEASE HELP ME I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHICH WAY TO TURN ANY MORE.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried to speak to people about this matter but they have told me because we are married and everything is in both names i will have trouble getting him out unless he touchs me or my children but he only does it mentally what other choice do i have i have no family near me to help!!!!
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Please get in touch with SHELTER!For your childrens sakes you need to get outside help for this. You cant go to the police and tell them all this i dont think, because he hasn't actually carried out any threat from what you have said so far. But you owe it to you and your children to get this lunatic out your lives and get the kids back to some sort of normality. Lets be honest, it comes down to the fact that this life is damaging to their future mental health!Please look up Shelter and ask for some professional advice. This is not a nice guy.C xxxx
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (21 August 2008):
 OK, hold on. We can get you out of there. You need to call your Health Visitor and arrange to meet her (she will come round to your house if you like). Explain all of this to her. She will put you in touch with the right people to get you out of this situation. He needs to leave, and needs to be frightened off enough that he will not come near you. And what about your family? Could they help?Please try to be calm, and just keep your head down at the moment and try not to rise to the bait when he gets at you. You have to protect the children, but don't provoke him. Wait until you have things sorted out, and then you can make your move.It will be fine, i am sure - you just need to get through this time. Good luck.
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