A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a mature student and have a massive crush on my tutor at college. He's about 10 years older than me if that, as far as I know he's still single, I'm married though, I've been unhappy with my husband for at least 18 months. I'm not just looking for a way out of my marriage though, back when I started falling out of love with my husband, I had chances to cheat but I didn't because I didn't want to cause trouble over an insignificant crush. I know I have to end the marriage but I'm trying to find the right time and the right words... I genuinely have feelings for this guy though, I think about him all the time, he talks in class sometimes about stuff he's into and we have quite a lot in common. Sometimes its like he directs most of the lesson at me, or maybe I'm imagining it, but he's a decent guy and I'm really shy so I have no idea how he feels or what I could do about it. The course will be over soon and then what?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): Firstly - well done you for being a mature student, I am returning as a mature student on a degree course and I completely understand how difficult it can be.
You need to deal with the marriage first, you know that. In your situation, is there ever a right time or are you staying in hopes to fall back in love? As for the words, hun, these things will be difficult right until the end of time, it comes from pointing out faults in people or within marriages - nobody wants to hear it but its only fair to give an explanation.
Once your marriage is declared either on or off you can decide what your next step will be. It is then that you can try and get something going with your soon to be ex tutor. Infact the end of the course may be the perfect oppourtunity - you know, lets go for a drink to celebrate the end of the course?.. See what happens x
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 My suggestion is to deal with your marriage first. Either end it honorably or get counseling to deal with the issues you're facing.
Then, you'll either be in a happy committed relationship, and not worried about a little crush, or you'll be single and able to date the men you find interesting.
Sounds simple and probably not what you wanted to hear, but I think you're not dealing with the real issues here.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Light  +, writes (24 April 2008):
Ok before you need to do anything with the college tutor, you need to fix the root first...
The reason why I say this is because before you jump onto anythig new you must get rid of the old the right way, you need to find out the reasons why your marriage is not working in the first place, why you are unhappy in your marriage, and can your marriage be repaired.
The reason why I say this is because before you move onto something new the same cicle will be happening in every relationship over and over, there only one thing that is the same in this cicle, and it's you because you haven't figured out the cause and acted on them.
That's what I think anyway......
By the way I also understand exactly what you mean, I have the hot dreams about a guy that I used to work with, and I've been married now for 8 years, and the only reason why I have dreams about him is because sometimes I feel I'm lacking affection, and attention.......... So I completely understand, and I'm female by the way hun....
All the best for you though and please let me know of your outcome... Would love to hear your success....
Peace
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