A
female
age
26-29,
*eapod
writes:I feel dumb asking this or even telling anyone but i have developed quite the crush on my writing teacher. I am 18 and he is 24. So the age difference is not totally out of realm. I am going to college next year to become an English teacher, just like him. Even better he is getting his masters at the same college. I feel like he has a respect for me because Im very committed to becoming a teacher and i do well in his class. He always asks how Im doing and makes sure everything is ok. he keeps me after class alot to talk and he made a presentation at my teaching class where he went above and beyond to make it wonderful. I think i really like his personality and how funny he is because while he is not ugly he is not sexist man alive. I realized that i cared about him more than i should when he got really hurt breaking up a fight. I genuinely cared about him. Then last night i had a dream about him. So basically my question is do i need a reality check and am i just crazy and dumb for even thinking about this. Any advice, should i stop now while ahead of the game?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): He'd lose his job and be labeled as a paedophile if he pursued this any further.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Here's your reality check... you have a crush. You may be 18 and he is 24 but he's still in a position of authority over you and it would be inappropriate to even entertain such thoughts.
Kids get crushes on teachers all the time. Teachers are used to it.
I Had a HUGE HUGE crush on my 11th grade English teacher. He was a first year teacher so he was about 22 if that old... I was 17.... OMG that was 1977 and I still can remember it and think about it and wonder.... if when I had gotten out of school anything could have happened...
He really made me think he felt the same way when in my yearbook when I told him "write something different" he wrote "next time bring champagne..." OMG I almost DIED...
anyway I went back the year after I graduated and he was still there... and here I was no longer a student...over 18 and guess what... I was still his student to him... see he never ever slotted me as anything other than a student... maybe a student he really liked... a student he found attractive but a subordinate nevertheless.
that is how professionals behave.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 HI
I don't think your crazy dumb as you put it, but I would keep it to myself for a while, his young and is being very nice towards you but it don't mean anything right now. If he does have any feelings towards you he can't do anything about it as his your teacher. However when your no longer taking his class maybe you could ask him if he would like to go out for a drink sometime? just not now or it could backfire and you would feel embarrassed.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (11 February 2013):
 This cannot go anywhere while you are in high school, so yes it's something you shouldn't be thinking about for now. I think that things COULD be different if you knew you wouldn't be instructed by him while he was at his grad school and you were at undergrad. The issue you want to avoid is the risk of impropriety, unprofessionalism that is inherent to professor-pupil relationships because of the power imbalance and the idea (True or not) that the professor is taking advantage of the pupil. Keep it cool for now and see where things are next year. He may want to take you under his wing as a mentor, as a lover, or want nothing to do with you (would you want to associate with a 12 year old? same age gap.)
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