A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. Thanks for checking out my question. I really appreciate it.Well firstly, my girlfriend is mad and disappointed at me. And I know it's my fault. So here's the situation.Couple of days ago, it was our 1 year anniversary. I made her a long letter telling her how much I love her. I even burn a cd with our songs. And all of it I sang it myself and recorded it. All those with a letter saying my apologies for not being there when our anniversary comes. I was devastated knowing i'm not there. I feel VERY guilty.I was away with my family. She is currently mad at me and ask me to write her 200 full pages of reasons why I still want to be together with her in less than 12 hours. If I don't, she said we're done. And everytime I call her to apologize for not being there but she asks for that still. I already did 6 full pages(A4 size) but she said that's just little. I don't mind that but if I don't finish, we're done(I hope not).I am completely broken. I know my mistakes, but I really love her and I don't want us to be apart. What should I do? I tried to call her but all she said is finish that. I need opinions from all of you. I really appreciate your help.
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 What is the matter with her?
She is completely mad, totally demanding and frankly bordering on the insane, in my opinion. don't pander to her. If she wants you to go, go, please! and don't listen to her rubbish. 1-year anniversary of boyfriend and girlfriend is only as big a deal as you want to make it. That you were with your family is not - or should not be - a big issue. She is making mountains out of molehills. She sounds very difficult. Please don't be upset and don't buy into her nonsense. She is crazy.
My God, when I think what little some women (and, I guess, men) have to live on, how little affection they get, and how little recognition of important days - and they still love and carry on and are committed to their families. She is off her rocker. That you made songs for her and did all that - that is way more than enough. Tell her to bugger off. That is my opinion! Sorry : )
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): Thank you for opening my mind guys. I really appreciate your opinions. Let me reflect everything and decide the next move.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 November 2010):
Personally I'd write her a one line letter - "You're dumped, you insane woman!"
This is what you need to do -
Dump her, over the phone.
That's what you need to do.
Seriously, I'm worried about the way young men and women are growing up now. What you're going through is beyond unacceptable, and there seems to be this new thing amongst a handful of women that a man needs to throw his family away in order to prove something, or that he has to be tested in some way. I myself had a problem a few years ago when a girl was messing me around. Asking her out wasn't enough, I had to 'prove' my worth by not being there on my sister's birthday. I stopped right there and moved on.
Look at this situation, and take a look at yourself more than anything. You couldn't be there - that's not your fault. And she already knew you'd be away. You did everything you could, by writing her a letter, burning a CD, apologizing you couldn't be there. So for her to do this shows her up. It really does.
I#ll tell you, having dealt with some dreadful women, and some brilliant women, that you SHOULDN'T put up with this. This isn't about love. It's about a drama queen wanting you to beg for her attention. And it's pathetic, immature and shows her up for the crappy girl she really is.
You'd be mad to stay with her. She'll just push you and pull you around like a piece of meat, she'll control you and treat you like dirt. And I know, because I've been there with a girl, and it just leaves you looking like you're a doormat.
There are women out there who are genuinely worthy of attention. Really, there are. This girl is not worth your time. She's selfish, immature, pathetic and in my opinion a damned Drama Queen.
Phone her up, tell her that you've done something thinking and come to the conclusion that you're too good for someone who plays around with your emotions this way, and tell her it's over. I PROMISE you that there are so many better women out there.
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Ok, I can understand she's disappointed but both of you knew that this would happen so she had time to prepare herself for it.
I think she's taking it too far. 200 pages of why you want to be with her? Come on, that's ridiculous. Talk to her about it or write her another letter if she won't listen but tell her that you're not going to do what she has asked for because it's unreasonable and impossible to do. If she won't accept that she's being unreasonable about this I would say end the relationship yourself, it's better than you getting dumped by her over this.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (20 November 2010):
Slow down there, pal. You did nothing wrong here. You went above and beyond apologizing already! You wrote her a thoughtful letter and even wrote/recorded songs for her, even when you had a legitimate reason for missing the anniversary! Do NOT feel guilty.
Is she always so dramatic like this? Is she the type that always gets what she wants? If so, you really need to sit her down and tell her how ridiculous she is being. Even after such a great apology (for something a normal person wouldn't even make you apologize for) she is making ludicrous demands. Chances are, she has no idea how lucky she is.
At the moment, you need to get a little angry with her. Show her that treating you like this is not fair to you nor loving on her part. She doesn't know what a great guy she has and if she's so attention starved that she's willing to pull something like this just to "see if you'll do it" she has one messed up perception.
I recommend really talking to her. If she doesn't let you talk on the phone, leave her a voicemail. If she really doesn't see how badly she's treating you, then you really need to get another girl. Sounds harsh, but overall she's acting like a 12 year old and has some growing up to do. You're too good of a guy to have to put up with someone like that. You deserve better.
Best of luck, really.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Wow, she's demanding! I actually think it's impossible to write 200 pages of A4 in less than 12 hours. If that's all she's asking for and you feel that this is the only way to get her to speak to you properly, then just do the best you can with it.
Were you away on holiday at the time of your anniversary? or was it an emergency of some sort? I can see why she would be disappointed, but this reaction is a little extreme. You may want to think what might happen the next time something doesn't go her way...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): sounds like a bit controling on her part. look if she can't understand why you couldn't be with her then just break up with her you don't have to prove that you love her by writing 200 pages of reason you should be together but seriously do you really want someone controling like that?
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