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I had sex with a transexual, does that make me gay?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2011) 14 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2012)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i had sex with a transexual, it it really bugging the hell out of me.. does that make me gay?

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A male reader, MacShreach United Kingdom +, writes (18 December 2012):

Nearly all men who are transattracted identify as straight, although a minority don't. A transsexual woman is a woman, so it's hard to see how a man attracted to her could be gay; and gay men won't go near transsexual women.

However some men undoubtedly seek out transwomen in order to be dominated and have sex as if they were men, while denying that they are men. If that was the case with you, then you are gay and you should leave transwomen alone. They have enough to deal with already.

If however, your attraction was to her femininity and the sex was conventional (or at least as far as possible) in that you played the male role, then no, nothing gay there.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011):

if you enjoyed it id stress yes because i was at 1 time bisexual but starting look at tranny porn but im attracted to her boobs and hair im not gazing at her schlong actually taking a liking 2 females bit more ass dont cut it for me anymore used be in relationship long time ago with good friend:) i wouldnt be ashamed of it id pretend what it was a woman and do it again as long as she was pretty im still bi but i like girls lil more cause they feel gud dudes are koo if cant find right women in my eyes, explore sexuality dont be ashmed of it..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011):

Sorry, didn't noticed you had responded until now.

Why is it bothering you so much? Are you afraid of being judged by others?

When you say you can't concentrate, what do you mean? Do you keep thinking about the experience? Are you regretting it, or do you find it oddly exciting?

I guess try to not let it get to you too much. I usually deal with not-so-great-decisions by laughing it off. For example, I once slept with a woman old enough to be my mother. Probably not the best choice, but now I just look back on it and laugh about it.

In my opinion, the fact that you tried sleeping with a transexual shows that you're an intelligent and curious person. Many people would immediately say "no" to that experience without any real reason. You were strong enough to try something different. Furthermore you learned from the experience. Learning that you don't like something is much better than assuming you wouldn't.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011):

thanks for the tips, i would never never do it again. and cant believe i did.. the reason i did was that i was attractive to her feminine looks.. but every since the experience i have been really messed up in the head and im havin problems concentrating at work and school.. what should i do?

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (22 May 2011):

N91 agony auntI don't think it makes you gay, but I'd class that as gay sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011):

You were likely attracted to this transsexual because of her female qualities.

What attracts you to women? Is it the way they think? They way they act? The female figure? A transsexual can do these things very well (sometimes even better than naturally-born women).

In all seriousness, it's not the genitalia which men find attractive in women. It's other qualities. If a transsexual has the qualities you find attractive then it's only natural you'd be interested.

So to answer your question "does that make me gay?" of course not! You're not suddenly chasing hairy, muscular, rugged guys. You're still interested in women. And there's nothing wrong with being adventurous and trying a different kind of "woman".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011):

Yeah, and it doesn't matter what kind if the person is a tranny then that means at one point they were male. So yeah, the action was gay but I don't think you are gay though, unless you like men.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (22 May 2011):

QuirkLady agony auntan mtf trans person is a woman, so there's no reason for you to feel weird about it. she's a woman. end of story.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011):

If you are sexually attracted to women and you have sex with them. But you were also attracted to this man and had sex with him. Then you are bi-sexual.

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A female reader, Glitters143 United States +, writes (21 May 2011):

Glitters143 agony auntWell you have to figure out why you did it And if you liked it. And if you realize you are gay that not a bad thing and if you aren't gay thats not a bad thing either

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A female reader, AmyMckinley United States +, writes (21 May 2011):

First of all, you're wrong. Nothing can makes you gay. It's what you were born. But if you had sex with "her" before you know "her" is transsexual, then don't worry you're straight. But if you know it before hand and starting to think about "her", there's a percentage, perhaps 35 per cent? that you're gay.

But gay or not, as long as you're happy with your partner, you're not wrong. We're human and we have the right to be happy, to love and be love.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011):

No.. it doesn;t make you gay. It just makes you adventurous. Don;t beat yourself up about it.... Just put it down to experieence. I am a woman who has had sex with other women in three somes and one on one's... I do not think I am gay. I like men,. but I also like sex of whatever variety sometimes. That does not make me gay as far as I;m concerend. Dont; let it bug you, and if you are gay, so what? ( I dont think you are though... ). Hope that helps. x

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 May 2011):

Honeypie agony auntDo you mean a man with boobies? or one who had had a gender reassignment surgery?

There are many variation of inbetweens with in the transexuals.

Does it make you gay? I doubt it. Depends really on this, did you see "her" as a girl a or guy ? Did you know ahead of the sex that "she" was a he?

And why does it bug you? are you thinking that you might be gay or bi?

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A male reader, Welsh Uncle Dave United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2011):

Doesn't necessarily mean you're gay.

I take it you know from the start he was a transexual before getting into the bedroom?

If so, ask yourself, what made you do it? Would you do it again?

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