A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy a week ago at a party and we made out. He asked for my number and I got all excited about going on a date with him. We finally met up last night - though I was really, really tired - for an hour or so. He was really affectionate and I thought he really liked me but I was completely mistaken! Just got a text from him saying that he doesn't feel a click between us and so tomorrow's date (planned way ahead because last night's meet-up was kinda spontaneous) is off. So here I am, on a Friday night getting rejected! I know it shouldn't be a big deal but really, I've never experienced this before with a guy I kinda like! It's an ego bruise of course, but it also has to do with the fact that I had just broken up not too long ago. This guy was such a great distraction in the past week! Now I am just back in my post-breakup misery... Ah, I don't understand how you can tell you're not interested just after one hour!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): Thanks for all your great responses.So I wrote him back saying "Thanks for letting me know. Take care." and didn't hear back from him - well, guess not 'cuz he didn't expect a reply. Then I wrote again to tell him about I forgot to say the other night, and then he said I am sweet and thoughtful and wrote a longer message than he should be. I just can't get him off my mind now! Honestly I think the breakup is over, and in general I rarely go on dates with people I don't care about just to get attention. The fact that I went on a date with this guy (and got really excited about it) means I do care! So now what should I do? Should I just pick up my ego and stop contacting him? Or is there any chance that I can do something so that he'd give it another shot? I did mention during the date that I'd just broken up. His reaction was, "well that means you don't have a boyfriend now. That's good." Not sure if that blew him off, or maybe I'm just romanticizing the whole thing and all he wanted was to have sex with me.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 April 2012):
 S**t happens. Sorry.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 April 2012):
 Be glad honey, that he didn't string you along. Or that he didn't just try and date you to get you in bed.
I have been on a couple of dates where I could tell after 5 minutes that there wouldn't be a repeat date. I still stuck it out thought the dinner and had a decent time, but the guys just didn't "click" for me.
I know that it might have hurt your ego a little, and that is OK, but there are plenty of fish/frogs out there.
Honey, sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): "Ah, I don't understand how you can tell you're not interested just after one hour!"
I do, it's because of this - "This guy was such a great distraction...[from] my post-breakup misery".
OP what person wants to be someone's post-breakup distraction?
What guy in his right mind would knowingly become someone's rebound?
OP you were using this guy, yes "using" him as a fix to your post breakup misery that's completely unfair in my opinion. You need to get over your break up before you start dating or you're just using those guys to make you feel better. Being a person's rebound is a bitch and for those unlucky enough to have experienced it they won't do it again.
I have absolutely no time for the concept of using someone else to ease the pain of a break up because once that pain is gone that person usually gets thrown away.
Get over your pain so that the next guy you date you'll be doing so for the right reasons, because you like the guy, because you're happy and want share your time with someone you like, not just because you feel miserable and want someone to keep your mind occupied, no matter what your intentions OP that's not a position you should put a potential lover in, that's what friends are for.
I say well done to that guys for spotting the signs early and getting out before he became more emotionally invested.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 April 2012):
 Well sometimes people just dont click. Look at the bright side, at least he didnt lead you on for sex...ditching you then would have been much, much worse and you wouldn't even know which of the two was worse, your break up or this. I can imagine it must be horrible getting ditched, but dont take it personally because it's not your fault. He just didnt think you would hit it off and he called it off without even trying to explore further. Maybe a bit rough but still better than dragging it out and delaying the inevitable.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (14 April 2012):
Don't take it personally. And really, you may not have really "kinda liked" him, you might have just enjoyed the attention he was giving you, you hardly knew the guy.
At least he gave you the courtesy and didn't just blow you off (which has happened to me and lots of other women I know). For all you know he was being super affectionate in hopes you'd go home with him and when that didn't happen he decided to call it off if you weren't a sure thing.
You'll find plenty of new distractions. Don't expect too much out of the men you date, otherwise, you'll end up feeling like this all the time. Be happy to be single for now--no one to answer to, come and go as you please. It's really not so bad.
...............................
A
female
reader, In.love.with.him +, writes (14 April 2012):
 I'll be honest there are two things going on here which aren't the best choices for a relationship. I mean if you were at a party and you talked for hours even than the guy could be lying.1. You are using him to get your mind off of your ex which is not a good idea get over your ex-boyfriend then date. Rebounds are not healthy and you will both end up hurt.2. You met at a party which usually has alcoholic beverages and you both kissed drunk or not that was the first night you met each other you hardly know one another and some people are very good are throwing out sweet talk to get a someone to like them. I can reject anyone I'd like to just as your allowed to do the same and so is that guy. In the past 4 weeks I've refused to give the four guys that tried to get my number cause I'm still confused over this one guy I dated for a year and who's been my bestfriend since 2006 who helped me with numerous problems in the past he just slowly disappeared but that's what alcohol does. I know that related nothing to your problem but get over your ex on your own don't have a crutch or another guy you need to fall in order to get back up. It's one thing if you had no feelings for your ex but it seems as though you do if you need another companion for distraction. My advice to you is keep yourself busy with constructive things and trust me you will get though it on your own which is what you should be doing.Goodluck
...............................
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (14 April 2012):
Sometimes after I meet up with someone I have felt a sort of lack of harmony between me and the other person. Sometimes I have felt it even when I was strongly interested, and it made me feel uncomfortable. Don't know if that is what's going on with him, but he feels the way he feels.
Think of all the guys you rejected who just came up to say hi to you and started a conversation. I am sure that lasted less than an hour. It works on both sides.
You may want to get over your breakup before another pursuit.
Don't know your whole situation, that's the best I can offer you.
Good luck, and I mean that sincerely.
...............................
|
