A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Moved from another state to be with my long lost love after 13 yrs of no contact. Gave up my good job house to come back home and marry him (we're both divorced) and start a new life. Found out I'm pregnant and also that he is not divorced. When I found out I feel like someone has knocked me in my chest over and over again. We live in separate places now but he keep crying and saying he is gonna fix it..please dont stop being with him..but when i ask him he tells me things dont happen overnite...I told him Im ready to move on and he wont accept that..I love him but I dont want someone elses husband..thats why I got a divorce cause my husband cheated...and i feel so bad for beiing pregnant and finding this out...and he has 3 teens already....my heart aches so bad...I dont know what to do?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 This guy has let you leave your job house and state , and get pregnant too, all things that you did on the assumption he was free and divorced- otherwise, I suppose, you would not have thought of doing all that.
Talk about a big fat liar. If it were me, that would be enough to make me turn my back on him forever.
But, there 's a child arriving soon, and anyway it sounds like you want to give him a second chance.
So do it- but make sure it is the last one, and it has an expiration date. Things don't get done overnight, but they can and need to be started right away. Like, today. Be firm, and make sure he gets you mean business. Give him a date by which he has to show you his legal separation papers, including details about his financial obligations. If he does not, be prepared to walk away without hesitation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): First, if you didn't know he was still married, then you have serious issues in the relationship and you are in the cold here.
Get a counselor to help you with this.
You need an attorney to help you with the baby's support needs as well.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 October 2010):
Tell him to get divorced, or you'll walk. Tell him clearly. You're right to be upset and angry at this. He's lied. Simple as. So he either gets divorced or at least makes a start, or you walk. He's right that things don't happen overnight, but he's had a lot of time to sort this out. He hasn't, so he's talking crap.
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