A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years now. The last 6 months I have not been feeling the same. He is a lovely guy and I know he loves me but I find our relationship quite boring, I don't have any want to have sex with him (and we haven't for a while now) but I feel like breaking up with him would destroy him and I feel like I could never do it. I also sometimes have the doubt that if I did break up with him...would I ever find anyone that would love me as much? I know that sounds selfish!It used to really bother me when he didnt text or call and I used to get worried he would be with other girls when he was out with friends but now non of this bothers me. I even found out he had been to a strip club and payed for private dances and it didnt hurt.As well as this, a few months back I went to a party with my girlfriends and I met a boy who I got on with really well, he made no secret of the fact that he liked me but nothing happened other than harmless flirting and talking. We both stayed over at the house where the party was and stayed up talking pretty much all night. Since that day (approx 4 months ago) he has never left my mind. A day or so after the party he added me on facebook and sent me a private message. I know I should not have replied but I did and we have literally talked constantly since then. A week after the party he moved to australia for work reasons (until xmas), but he still talks to me everyday and constantly tells me he wants to be with me and that he has feelings for me. He promises me the world.I must point out that I have never been a one for believing in love at first sight or soul mates but now I am questioning things. The more I have got to know this guy's personality the more ive liked. I can't decide what to do. I know that it is wrong of me but I think I might be in love with someone else but at the same time I dont know if this whole thing is even real? I have never wanted to hurt my boyfriend and I feel terrible for feeling this way about someone else but I cant stop my feelings. I dont know what to do.I know I am selfish but could somebody please offer some sort of advice?
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female
reader, Lostcause  +, writes (7 May 2012):
Well if the other guy is in Australia it's not really viable... but you shouldn't lie to your boyfriend. At least he deserves to konw. You need to respect him. I think that if you want to save the friendship you'd better tell him honestly something is going on and you don't feel the same anymore. It's better than you two starting to go against each other and hurt yourselves in the process.
Or try to take a break from the relationship...and decide it later.
A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic  +, writes (6 May 2012):
 Dump your boyfriend and go after the new guy.
It would be silly to stay with your boyfriend if you're feeling this way.
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