A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I am in a relationship with a guy from my school.... I didnt want an official relationship but he basically begged, so a few months ago I said okay to it.A little backgroun -- we met last year, started dating, caught him using gay dating websites online when he would say he was "going to bed"... gave him another chance, and found out he was having sexual skype video chats with guys when I wasnt around....gave him another chance to find out he lied to me about his entire past with guys at the school we go to..... ended it completely... a few months go by and I ended up giving him another chance but told him im not being in a relationship with him becaue i still dont trust him...... ended up starting to trust him again so i said yes.... and we made it official....... then spring break came, and he went home to maine where he lives, and i went home with my family.... he was very distant the entire break and didnt try and talk with me much.... everytime i would try and talk with him he would rush off of the phone or give one word text responses... both are very unusual for him... so i started suspecting that he found someone else or was talking to other people.. I ended up making a fake account on one of those gay dating sites i knew he used to use while we were dating and after we broke up so see if he was using them again... found out that day that he was, he actually messaged the fake account i made (had a picture of my friend, not me) and asked to video chat... i went back and forth with just a regular chat message, he said he was single and was looking for an athletic guy into the sports that he is into..... anyway, i left that alone..... when we returned to school, i look at his phone and there was another guys name that filled his called logs and text logs for the entire spring break....... I ended up confronting him and he told me he was sorry and coulndt help it and has a problem with wanting what he cant have, and being lonley when he is at home and all this bull ****.... so he told me he would never talk to that kid again, and told me he would stop using the dating sites after i told him i saw him logged on to one of them...... a couple of weeks have passes.... i have now caught him texting two other gay guys at our school very flirtatiously and sexually, and have seen a text where he was planning a time to skype a guy from texas..... when he does that, he tells me that he wants to sleep alone that night, and then goes to his room and skypes them after he has told me he is sleeping.... i confronted him telling him i knew he was texting those other two guys all of the time, and he told me it was nothing and that they are just friends, and yet they never hang out or anything....he also told me that he just got one of the guys number a few nights ago..... he thinks its okay that he asked for another gay guys number and that he was textting them at 2am....what do i do? he thinks he isnt doing anything wrong and makes me feel bad for "accusing him".... he keeps saying he is going to stop, even though it is all innocent.... am i being over protective or insecure? im living in the same on campus townhouse with him and 4 of our other friends next fall, and amd working at the same sleep away summer camp with him again this summer... its impossible to just dump him and forget about him.. what do i do?ALSO.. i am guy, not a girl lol
View related questions:
broke up, flirt, insecure, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Anchoredlove +, writes (26 March 2013):
Clearly he's not the kind of person you Want in your life. You don't need to worry about him this is obviously bugging you and if you don't fix it now and deal with it you will keep undermining your priorities.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 what do you do? avoid him and move on.
the easiest way-cut all contact completely until you no longer have any feelings for him.
then look for someone who isn't a serial cheater as that would be showing yourself the respect (through your own choices) that you deserve but up to now have not had.
...............................
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (8 May 2012):
 You need to completely break up with him. He keeps lying to you... and you keep 'forgiving' him... and he keeps repeating past behavior. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Stop expecting different results... cause it's not gonna happen.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): Well, it seems evident that he’s been really dishonest but what I can say is to talk to him and ask him what he wants from this relationship. You are not accusing him so don’t feel bad about it. You’re doing what any person would do when facing these circumstances and he should accept that and also respect your feelings by telling you and coming clean about what exactly he’s doing. It’s a bit of an obstacle that the both of you are seeing each other so often but if you do want to break up with him then, talk to him about it and tread carefully. Tell yourself that this is not just about him but you. If you’re going to be in a relationship, he’s going to have to be honest and respectful. You’ve given him many chances before and I think you have to be fair to yourself and really think if you want to continue being together with him. You’re a good guy and if he doesn’t see that or can’t cherish it then, he isn’t worth it, especially if he’s flirting and interacting with other guys behind your back. It’s not wrong for him to make friends but if he’s doing so and is communicating with them intimately and sexually then it’s wrong. Remember to think about yourself and what you want if he tells or pleads with you to not break this off, if you’re intending to. You’re not being over-protective or insecure because this concerns you just as much as it concerns him. You have the right to question things, seeing what he’s been doing. I hope it works out for you, whether you end it or not. You deserve someone who’s willing to be honest and who treats you right.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): Next time someone want a relationship with u and ur not ready for it...don't say yes when u really mean no. Also ur an adult, and since you say its impossible to just dump him, then that only gives u one other option.....stay with him and allow him to continually mistreat you. There is no advice to give u since you've condensed ur options.
...............................
|
