A
female
age
51-59,
*uzuki
writes:I feel a bit stupid at the minute because if Im honest, I feel like I set myself up for a fall. Basic back ground..Met lovely Italian guy 2 years ago in Isle of Mann during the races, we stayed in touch after the races on what I thought was only a friendship basis. He came to visit me last Christmas time and I had a boyfriend, he was obviously upset and cheesed off when he came over, but I thought we were just friends. When my dating finished with the guy from here, my Italian friend wanted me straight over to Italy and I went..to which he bled his heart out all over the place telling me how much he had wanted me etc blah blah blah..naturally flattered and not realising how much he had wanted me and how much I had not knowingly ignored his affections for me..for that reason I found myself with him, his family and friends for the duration of my stay as a couple..at last..now here the cring and the find a rock to crawl under bit..no sooner was i back from Italy..but he had booked a holiday for us in Amsterdam from which I have just returned somewhat pissed off..I have been overcome since leaving Italy by the attention and what I thought was obvious feelings he had for me...but in Amsterdam it all went slightly pear shaped on the last evening..As we sat with complete strangers at a bar having a laugh and being complimented on how fantastic we were together, my lover decided to remind me that we could never be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' as i lived in Ireland and he Italy, not a problem if he hadnt spent a lot of time discussing with me our future travel plans to Italy, Ireland and other places in the next few months, oh and had asked me if I favoured being a stay at home mum, cause he expected that off his future wife...and called me his wife in every email, tx and phone call !!ummmmm...so, anyway, in a state of total shock I decided to aggree with him that we could never be, and told him there was no point in us continuing to see each other very politely and with a smile as my heart broke, went back to the hotel and fell asleep on him, only to be woken up hours later to a plea to change my mind as he wanted to see me again.Somewhere in my mind I feel like a total fool, I woke on Sunday our last day, to tell him that I was glad we could always be friends, and had the most uncomfortable silence of a day, with him asking me to take a day to reconsider my answer...Now girls..I think we all know the feeling when we realise that we are just glorified 'special friends', that gut churn when you thought it was going somewhere and then you realise its just good sex, on their part?...well, I walked away at the airport telling him I had made my mind up, and I am home feeling like a complete idiot for thinking...maybe..we could have given it a bash...but I was probably just a cross continental shag at his expense I might add, I never paid for anything..I havnt tx him or anything since i came home yesterday and we would have been in contact every day...I havnt heard anything from him and I know hes angry that I just put my foot down...so the golden questions have to be..how long do I wait before I delete him from my facebook so I dont look like I being a total bitch, I am friends with a lot of his friends and his sister so dont want to be the sado in all this.. and how could I have been so stupid to suck in all this lovely caring romantic exciting chasing after me stuff, to feel like a total idiot now..I really cared for him, but knew if I didnt say and mean that we shouldnt see each other again, I was going to look even more stupid than I already did when he upset me in the bar...girls I know you get what I mean..but guys..advise is always appreciated from the male ego side too xxx
View related questions:
christmas, facebook, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 December 2009):
Well I think you made the right decision here. The culture in Italy is vastly different, and you would have ended up a home wife with no career or outside life and probably with a very controlling husband. Not to mention he said you couldn't be 'boyfriend of girlfriend'. All I can say is that if he hasn't contacted you within a week on facebook, delete him. Make sure you don't contact him again. You're not being a bitch at all, you're looking out for yourself and your friends will understand that. He really wanted sex, with the idea that if you conformed, he would have controlled you and kept you at home like a slave. Don't feel bad, feel good and find a guy who will let you be yourself.
|
