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I feel very insecure and not sure what to do, one minute we were to buy a house together, now he doesnt want to do it jointly!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2006) 1 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for 18 months, I moved in with him after just two months on the condition that he sold his house because his ex used to live with him and I didn’t want to live in the house where she had been, now the house has sold and we’re looking for a new home I feel really insecure to the point were I am very depressed.

He doesn’t seem to want a joint mortgage as the house he sold made quite a lot of money and he said he can afford it on his own, at one point there was also talk of us getting engaged but again he wasn’t ready and it wasn’t the right time – I feel that if I move to the new house (that I get to choose) that he could just tell me to leave at any time and I would have to walk away with noting and it makes it worse that he’s not ready to commit by getting engaged, I don’t want him to feel like I want him for his money because I don’t and I love him very much.

I can understand how he feels, as he was in a marriage the broke up and she took half of everything and in his last relationship he had to buy out the house that we now live in because he had a joint mortgage with her.

I’ve told him how I feel but we just seem to be going round in circles, I can’t help feeling insecure.

Please help

View related questions: broke up, depressed, engaged, his ex, insecure, money, moved in

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (27 July 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntBuying a house together when you are not legally marriage can still leave you with nothing if he were to kick you out. If I were you I'd start up a savings account on my own for just that sort of event. Let him buy the house himself. Who knows down the line you may get married and then you could use that nest egg for some new furniture for your home. Good luck.

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