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I feel unfeminine. Should I get breast implants to fix this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2011)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok, I have small boobs, because of my age they won't grow anymore. I have an otherwise curvy build, I have a small pronounced waist and wide hips, big butt and thick thighs. I'm slim, though. My face is well, some say pretty, I'd say average, but not beautiful.

My sister has big boobs, and has a similar face to mine, she has no hips and her butt is on the smaller side, so we're completely different, I guess. We have a friend who has big boobs, and a curvy body, but she's slightly overweight, she's also pretty. So I guess we're all just as attractive, in different ways, but none of us is obviously prettier than the other.

So then when we go out, they wear their push ups, their low cut tops and they receive attention left and right. I wear my tigh tops and tight pants, and I don't get nearly as much attention as they do! I make eye contact, I smile, I dance confidently and most importantly I have fun, but still, no guys.

I was talking with some guys about boobs, and they all agreed they can't help being more attracted to big ones, even just visually. They said they don't dislike small ones, that they're ok, but when they go out they inevitably notice busty girls more, even if smaller chested women are otherwise attractive too. They also agreed that big boobs are a bonus, so in a way, yeah, big boobs are better, they're not a requirement, but they're better.

So that was a blow to my self esteem, especially because I've never met one of the elusive guys who prefer small boobs. But not only is this a guy thing, I also feel so unfemenine and unwomanly and excluded from some sort of femeninity club because my sister talks about her boobs constantly: "My boobs feel sore, I think they may be growing", or "This bra makes my boobs look too big, right?". She also feels them up a lot and it's as if boobs were something to make a fuss about! Also sometimes when we hang out with our friend, well, they can talk about their boobs and bras for hours, or how they can use cleavage to their advantage, etc., etc. I feel so excluded. To me my boobs are just there, they're never sore, no bra makes them look bigger and I never get cleavage so I can't use that to my advantage so I there's another way in which I can't manipulate guys which is exclusively femenine!

So should I get implants? I don't really plan on having kids, ever, but it still worries me that the results may not look good, or that I won't really want to spend that much money on implants once I have it, or that it's risky, that there can be complications, etc. But I guess it's my only option, I really hate my boobs and while I know guys don't really expect perfection, I'm a perfectionist and I hate thinking that no matter who I'm with, whether he loves me or not, he'll always think bustier chicks are hotter and well, it's an ego thing. I hate feeling second class compared to busty women and feeling excluded form the "boobie club".

What should I do? I've tried accepting what I have since I hit puberty and it hasn't worked so far. I'm just as horny as busty women are, and I think I'm just as attractive, I find it's so unfair that I receive less attention at clubs, because yeah, that's part of the fun, too!

View related questions: boobs, bra , horny, money, overweight, self esteem

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (6 September 2011):

tennisstar88 agony aunthttp://www.yourplasticsurgeryguide.com/breast-implants/

1. Educate yourself on the health risks involved, what size you are considering, what kind, and how long will they last.

2. You can google the plastic surgeons in Dubai (gorgeous city by the way), set up a consultation with a surgeon and get a quote.

3. After 1 and 2, if this is still something you really want, then I would start saving $ for your implants. Maybe even get a second job, or see about taking out a loan depending upon your credit.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011):

Dear Gal, I truly feel your feelings cas each words of yours relates to my agony in regards to body perfection otherwise life is fine. My mind is inclind that bigger boobs will give me better life!!

Dear Star88 i am considering breast implant but don't know how to start and where to go cas here in dubai, UAE its too expensive.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (4 September 2011):

LazyGuy agony auntWell, several good pieces of advice so let me give you a very male piece of advice.

Of course big tits are more noticeable. So would a big nose or having only one eye.

Go to google image search, switch of safe browsing and enter "bad boob job".

Then google "small breasted beauty".

Which ones would you want to be with?

What a lot of girls seem to forget is that you simply got to work with what you got. Just dumping a cleavage out there is one way but there are others. Plenty of girls with less breast use a thight sweater to make the small but generally firm variant stand out far more then some overflowing but saggy balloons ever can.

Work what you got before you stick a plastic bag in them and end up as a boob job horror. You might get the attention but so does the bearded lady.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011):

I understand exactly how you feel but I wouldn't rush out and get implants just yet.

I'm not flat-chested but I do have very small breasts and they are probably slightly out of proportion with the rest of my body, although that could just be my own perception.

My best friend has enormous boobs and people often comment on them, and so does she. She often sits there squeezing them and looking at them (I don't know if she's even aware that she does this) and will also make constant remarks about them.

If we go out together, every man will look at her chest and I become quite invisible. I used to envy her and wanted to have implants, but I've realised that it would be a big mistake. First of all, they make her look bigger than she is all over.

If I had big breasts, I would look fat. She has to wear industrial-size bras that dig into her back. She gets back pain and finds running uncomfortable, and they just seem to be in the way.

Also, think of all the men in the world: would you really want them all looking at your chest, picturing you naked? Probably just a tiny fraction. I've never had complaints about my boobs. One guy I was dating asked if I didn't want to have implants and I think that was the moment I realised that I didn't. Definitely not to satisfy someone like him.

It doesn't sound like you would be doing it for the right reasons, just to be accepted into some kind of club that doesn't even exist. Yes, guys do look at girls with big boobs, but they're not going to waste time in a relationship with someone just because she has big boobs. I'm sure a sense of humour or kindness is more important, unless the guy is a moron. Big breasts don't make a woman sexy.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (4 September 2011):

Yos agony auntI have several friends with implants: all have said to me in confidence that they regret doing it. That they hoped they would give them more confidence: and that all it taught them that your confidence doesn't come from the size of your breasts.

Some things to remember:

- The operation can go wrong, sometimes horribly wrong

- Breast implants don't last forever, and will need to be replaced several times during your life. If you choose to take them out at that point the end result is much worse than if you'd never had them. The skin gets stretched and then...

- They may end up looking nice, but they feel terrible. I know this from personal experience: the sensation from a male perspective is really not natural.

This may sound judgmental, but I would personally try not to be with someone with fake tits. For two reasons: the first is that I'd be a bit worried about the self-confidence of a girl with them, and the other is that I loathe the way they feel.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011):

It takes more than huge breasts to sustain a relationship you know.

If no men liked small boobs then all these women around the world would be single and the huge boobed ones dating or married!

Its entirely up to you what you do with your body but in years to come you will probably be grateful you have the small ones and your sister will be moaning and heading for the surgeon.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (4 September 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntDo you have the money for breast implants? Or do you have the good credit to get approved for a loan? They're not cheap.

Have you done your research and figured out which kind you're going to get, the risks involved, and what size?

Only get boobs if you're absolutely certain you what them and of course have the funds.

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