A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started university in september and moved to live there. I had a boyfriend of two years (he was a great guy and did every to please me but I had always questioned whether this was 'true love' because I always expected it to feel more than what I felt with him). Anyway when I moved I met a girl older than me, she was my boyfriends age 21 where as I was 18. We just clicked instantly and I felt like I'd known her all my life. Talked every day, would be on the phone for hours and be together constantly. When we met she told me she was a lesbian, and I was really shocked because she didn't look at all like she was but that wasn't a problem for me, I've always been curious but have never told anyone because I was quite embarrassed about it. After about 6 weeks of meeting her it was obvious we both really liked each other more than friends and we went a step further and started sleeping with each other secretly. It got to the point where I just forgot about my boyfriend back home and all I could ever think about was her, she made me so happy and she told me that she wanted me to leave my boyfriend and be with her because it killed her knowing I was going back home to him on a weekend. So I did, I broke up with him and left him heart broken, it was the worst thing I've ever done and I hated it. But it meant I could be with her guilt free.We were together, but I told her I didn't want to come out and didn't want my family or friends to know, she was quite upset by it at first but eventually got use to the idea and we just pretended we were best friends in front of our family and friends. Everything was perfect, I had never felt this way for anyone in my life, and she made it clear to me that she felt exactly the same.However before she had met me she was saving to move to australia the following september to become a teacher (she's due to leave september coming). We'd always known this, but we had fallen for each other that much we just ignored it, until now. She was getting really down about it saying she didn't want to go any more but I kept arguing with her saying she must go because its something she's worked hard to do, and with a little encouragement now she has her house and flights sorted. The problem is she finished me this weekend saying she can't stand the thought of being without me and so she has to get over me now before she moves. She was hysterically upset when she told me and I am absolutely gutted. I'm heartbroken and I know she's feeling the exact same. I just don't know what to do. I wake up and shes the first thing I think about, I think about her all day long and not talking to her just makes my day feel so long, I check my phone constantly to see if she's text me and if i get a text from someone I'm wishing it was her. I feel so lonely because none of my friends know what's going off and I don't want to tell them we were going out.I've never felt pain like it, she's moved back to London to be with her family so I can't see her and she's changed her number and deleted mine so we can't get in touch with each other :( I know this is the end but I just can't let it sink in. How can I get over this on my own?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): There's no other easy way to get over this relationship by yourself. Why not talk to your close friends about your situation? what you need is too talk to someone whom you truly trust. I'm sure they will understand you and help you throught your nightmare.
I had a similar experience before and what i will do is too focus that one things and go for it. You should totally channel that frustration out and move on with life.
Hope that this piece of advice help :)
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