A
female
age
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*eds
writes:I am finding life difficult to live at the moment due to how my now ex betrayed me. I was with him almost 15 years. In December he came to see me said he wasn't in love with me any more,didn't know what he wanted in his life etc. I asked if he was cheating on me again as he did this 5 years ago and said exactly the same thing. He said no I would'nt put you through that again. I found out within the week he was trying it on with the sister in-laws friend. She dumped him a week later when she realised we had been together still. So why one month later in January this year he hooked up with an old school friend got engaged within 3 weeks then moved in a month after.He just left me and his two step kids with no contact. He was supposed to be in love with the woman he was cheating on me with,so how can he now be in love again. The woman knows a little of what went on as she was on my Facebook account and suddenly deleted me. You would think she must worry hes onh the rebound,so to except an engagement so soon is stupid.I think he knew i would not take him back a third time so just jumped with the first person who did not question him. The trouble is he still has not put the house i helped him get on the market yet. He told my friend he is hoping the prices go up. My thoughts on this is why would a woman no matter how lonely or desperate want to be with a guy who not only just ended one engagement but cheated. Owes his ex thousands and dose not see the kids. Maybe he hasn't quite told her the truth about it all as i do not know one person who would jump that quick. As for me im left with nothing but hate after all the support i gave to a man who could never communicate tells lies and could'nt show his emotions. Apparently after 4 months together they are getting married next year. I waited 9 years and he never saved for our wedding,he owes so much money he could be hoping she won't find out hes in debt with me or dosen't she care. Im so sad and mixed up as i do not understand all this.
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female
reader, reds +, writes (24 July 2009):
reds is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have just had the news that they got married two weeks ago after just almost 6 months together,and she is 4 months pregnant. So by the time our 1 year apart arrives the baby will be born. I didn't cry because i knew it would happen,just do'nt understand the rush. Obviously i have been truly forgotten and he dosen't care how i feel. I am still waiting for the money from the house which is now up for sale. I have had no contact from him nor have the kids. So if she wants a man who behaves this way good luck as he may get fed up with her when the honeymoon period ends, who knows.
A
female
reader, reds +, writes (26 June 2009):
reds is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have been told they are moving ahead with the wedding because you've guessed she is pregnant,she has medical problem so bad idea. Apparently she is catholic (lol). I thought a real catholic dosen't have sex before marriage. I don't know if she did this to keep him or it was his idea,but bloody five months together is sick. i am stiil grieving after six months separated and feel he is trying to destroy me. What's wrong with adults these days. At least the house is up for sale lets hope i get my money before they spend it on wedding and baby.means they will stay together now I suppose. How do i take all that's happened in my head without upsetting myself.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (24 June 2009):
 Don't waste so much time on his "new" woman. Concentrate on yourself and the kids. I can understand that it makes you wonder, but really you will never know, so why waste time guessing?
No matter what, you really did get the good end of the stick.
I wish you good luck in the future.
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A
female
reader, reds +, writes (24 June 2009):
reds is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo we didn't live together because he said he liked living on his own,i had two kids to look after. We were engaged but he never bothered saving up for the wedding or discussed when. I saved for ten years for our future but sadly he spends,so i was hardly likely to pay for my own wedding.The first 9 years he lived in digs so i helped get a house in 2002. We were going to live in it when my daughter went to senior school. Sadly in 2003 he said it was over and i found out he was trying it on with our friend's mate where he lives. He told her we parted 6 months before. He came back a week later and begged me to marry him. September last year found out he had facebook so joined it,his status went in and out of relationship. I added all his contacts as he had no real friends,they were old school ones. He came down in December saying he wasn't in love with me anymore didn't know what he wanted in his life wanted a kid. I asked if he was cheating again. He said no i wouldnt;t put you through that again. He was trying to get off with sister in laws friend. She dumped him within a week. In january he hooked up with ex school mate who was on Facebook. She knows some of it as she was on my contacts. So i can't understand why she dates a guy who had just ended a relationship cos he cheated and still owes money for the house etc. She told sister in law she read my blogsso no matter what he told her she can't be dumb. She lives in a two bedroom council flat with her teenage daughter he took 2 cats and a dor there. What about his step kids he cut them off. He said he hated people who live in council and likes better.I would like to know what money he is going to marry her with next year as he has none hes always been in debt,theres no money from the house its all mine. Has he told her this. This woman must have a really good heart and be desperate shes been on her own a long time and has some sort of medical problem,so doubt she will have the child he craps on about. Hes 39 in three weeks could it be mid life crisis or he really hated being on his own. I will never know the truth. He told my friend i gave he took i was good always let him do his own thing. She just said not someone i would leave. I think he knew i could never take him back this time so just moved on to the next victim. I have had no contact so he obviously hates me and dosent care how i am suffering over the last 6 months. Why treat someone so good in your life this way. Will he regret it or just marry this woman because it is better than being alone. We are meant to be adults and these people act like bloody teenagers. The only thing that makes me laugh is he wanted to do so many things,never bothered. All he has done is changed partners quickly.mmmmmmmmm
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A
female
reader, reds +, writes (14 May 2009):
reds is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers. I thought i was feeling a little better as it has been 5 months now. But sadly i have gone backwards and feeling like i just don't want to be here anymore. I just can't un derstand the pair of them. She was on my friends list and although i know nothing about her i can't understand why she would want him. She told the sister in law she had read my comments,so surely that wou7ld have put her off. But no she just deleted me. I have no problems with her as she was second best to the one he cheated on me with. If he was in love with the first one why rush in get engaged and move in with another. I would not get hooked up with aguy that quick no matter what and would ask questions. Does it mean he has no thoughts about me whats soever or got caught and hooked up with her so he dose'nt have to face reality. Surely they haven't had time to know each other and chucking this in my face is sick. As to the money he has not put the house up for sale yet,don't know why as surely they both want me out of the picture quickly so they can marry next year. If he not living there why not sell up. I am wondering if he has not quite told her the truth here and she may think there is money for the wedding plus a house,wonderful dream. But reality is he won't have any money left as most of it is mine. The solicitor says i have no info to say i am owed this,but my sister in law said his mum will make sure i am ok. So you can see why i am so unhappy why are they happy while i am sad, is there no compassion in the world or guilt, obviously not.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 May 2009):
I can understand your hurt and your anger, but really you got the "good" end of this deal. It may not seem that way right now, but in the long run what good is this man?
If he owes you money take him to small claims court ( if it is more then $ 3,000, if you have ANY bills whatso ever with both your names on and YOU are paying them, have his name removed.
You can waste YEARS wondering what the newest women in his life is thinking, feeling and knowing, but unless you ask her you will never really know. No matter what in the end it really don't matter. So he says he is going to marry this woman, I can only feel sorry for her, she will have load of crap to deal with.
He sounds lie a lying piece of crap who lives of women and do not take care of his own children.
Good ridance I'd say.
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