A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Pleasssssssssssssseeeeeeeee help me! My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 6 months. I am very much in love with him and he tells me he loves me all the time. But here is the problem: sometimes I feel like he just tells me that because I want to hear it. Also, his last serious gf (broke up about a year and half ago) is married and has a young baby, so I feel like he still cares/loves her but knows there is no chance of getting back together. He says he doesnt care about her when I bring it up, but he will mention her by accident sometimes, looks at her myspace, used to call/text her (before I made that stop) plus I feel like she is dragging him along (cause she is a pure b**** and she wants to rub her marriage and kid in his face- she is not a very nice person at all so I am still wondering why he even still cares about her after she cheated on him many times). I just feel like I deserve a guy who realizes what a nice, loving person I am and he doesnt make me feel that way. I feel second best like I am always competeing with her- which I shouldnt be. I just cant keep holding it in or I am going to explode. I bring it up but he just says "it was a year ago" or "just forget it" but I cant. What should I do?? Please help me if you understood all that!
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female
reader, helpful girl  +, writes (27 September 2006):
 well like wise ages ago i felt the same way my feller now wasnt married but he sis get his ex of 21years pregnant forced her to have an abortion as she had cycistic fibrosist and it passe's in the jeans as well as not wanting children, and at first i was so wound up because he had a versetermy and i knew i was never going to get the chance to be pregnant off him as well as thinking he still loved her they split 3years b4 when i was with him! but soon enough i thought instead of me feeling second best and being insecure im going to try and be with him for longer than what she was i couldnt leave him cus by this time id already fell in love with him also he is 21years older than me! so yes we had a rocky time in our ralationship but 16months has past and geuss what were due to get married as well as im happy that im his second longest ralationship! and on top of that we went to stourport to see his freinds the other day and they told me how evil his ex was towards him she tryed glassing him with a bottel,she was impolite and also they didnt like her! the morrow of the story is never judge anything untill you know for sure how it is! never let insecuritie nor negative thoughts get the best of you because you could be loseing out on something thats about to be the best ralationship yet to come! always think positive and think of your happy times and youll be ok and thats what makes a ralationship hard as rock!
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (27 September 2006):
 No you shouldn't be second best and if he does still love his ex then he shouldn't have got involved with you in the first place, most of us still care about our ex's as we spent time with them and was once close to them but you really need to know if you are the one for him or are you just the one for him because he can nolonger have her.
I would suggest talking to him and see what he says also watching his body language and reactions to what you are talking about as sometimes the truth doesn't come from words.
Good luck :o)
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