A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Four months after leaving my ex for cheating on me, I decided I'd go ahead and sign up with eHarmony, or try the online dating thing. There are several guys whom I've hit it off with, in addition to 3-5 requests for communication each week, many of these guys seeming to be quite out of my league.Take *Ryan, for example. He's a firefighter who lives a few hours away from me and he's insanely sexy. Great physique, great connection, and he seems genuinely interested in me and as well, even physically. But as a very overweight girl, I'm not used to that! At all! Admittedly, my last ex was a soccer player who, too, had a great body, but it took a long time for me to genuinely believe that he was happy with the way I looked and the way I was in bed. In the online realm, I've realized, this is even worse. I've gotten into the rhythm of taking an hour or two to take new pictures each month to update my profile with, and they seem to turn out awesome. Then, however, I end up thinking to myself, "wait, I look like a size 14 there, not a size 18," or, "they won't be able to see my blotchy skin here," or, "my boobs look huge, yet I'm only a C. What a disappointment that'll be," or, "my butt in those jeans looks perfect. But it's really not." Basically, I feel like my pictures are turning out too good (and I don't photoshop or any of that) and I don't know what to do about it. On one hand, it's nice to have all of these super attractive guys talking to me but on the other hand, this then makes me paranoid that they're seeing and imaging a girl who I think is an idealistic representation of me. Honestly, I think about it a lot when I'm communicating with these guys, probably 60% of the time. I can just imagine them walking up to me in person and being totally disappointed. And yes, I take and post full body shots too. I'm meeting *Ryan next Saturday and I'm paranoid. What should I do about the picture issue? Is there anything I can do?
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boobs, my ex, overweight, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 July 2010):
 Meet the guy and see where it leads.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 July 2010):
 Relax, honey. If *Ryan* wanted a size 2 he would be looking for a size 2. I think it could be that *Ryan* found you not only attractive but interesting/smart/clever/funny/charming...... you name it, enough to want to get to know.
Good luck on your date.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): I think you shouldn't do anything. If you didn't use photoshop and this truly is you then I don't see why you should change them. Go on your date and if it doesn't work out be strong and move on until you find the one you are looking for. They should except you for who you are, not for how you look.
NightFairy
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (26 July 2010):
 I actually met my current boyfriend on a dating website an I know where you're coming from. and maybe you dont look a bad as you think you do. remember... women are way more critical then they should be most of the time.
everybody who does online dating by now should know the picture game. NOBODY looks 100% like their pics. Maybe the guys that are intereted like the thickness on women.
And if he acts disappointed when you meet him just brush it off because there will always be others.
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