A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have just recently started college at the same place. I'm 21 but transferred over and she is 19 but a freshman at the university. Lately it's been hard to feel close to her. I understand that this is the point in her life that she needs to meet new people and experience the college life, but I guess I didn't think it would be this hard for me to handle. I have a great deal of respect and love for her, but I can't help but feel lonely. I have some good friends here already, but I'm so use to us hanging out more often than not. Even the texting has changed. She use to be so quick to text me back, but now she barely does it. She says she's always busy, but sometimes when I text her I notice she's on facebook or just doing nothing at the time, and I don't see why it would be so difficult for her to just text back. I even brought it up to her and all she had to say to it was just deal with it and get use to it. I don't want to get use to that. It's little things like that, that have helped bond and create trust and little reminders that we're thinking about each other, and now we don't have that. I'm just wondering what I should do? The obvious answer would be to just let her be and she will eventually come to me, but she is a strong independent woman and I feel if I give her the needed space, she is just going to forget about me, the relationship, and just eventually float off into her own world completely forgetting about me. Any advice to ease my paranoia? lol
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): wow that's so crazy because that is seriously EXACTLY how i feel, you couldn't have read me any better. I feel the same way about my boyfriend, I feel like he no longer makes the effort he used to.. he would used to answer my texts all the time, and like you said, sometimes you woulds see your gf on facebook instead of answering your text. he does the same thing. it really really upsets me. he just basically no longer does the things he used to, communication isn't the same, and his text messages are brief, he never says sweet stuff to me at all, never reminds me of how much he loves me, or how much he misses me. it's tough....
A
female
reader, freetolove_orcas +, writes (3 September 2010):
That is the exact same problem with me and my boyfriend. I have drifted from him and my texts to him arent as thoughtful, or long and its stressing our relationship because everything isnt like you said, a reminder that we're thinking of each other. But, he has done some things to me that made me drift away. (i would rather not explain) and also just the fact that he's away puts me in a weird mood because he's not here by my side like we used to be in high school. so, the change and separation is bugging me. So, maybe its just the sudden change that you guys are apart? she might not be texting back automatically because thinking of you being far away makes her sad and when she does text you, she realizes.. "oh.. right. he's gone, and off to college. " I mean this is just how i feel, she might be totally different. Some things my boyfriend has done to help it, is skype every week, or at least call every or every other day. Another thing, does she get jealous easily/if at all? if she hasnt made friends yet at school and you have, she might be jealous. Sometimes i do get jealous, when he either has lots of friends or is making them really easily. But, i like it when my BF says he loves me, or he's thinking about me. so everyday just say something sweet to her (calling would be really good!) to have what you said on her mind. it'll bring a smile to her face. :)I really hope that my side of the relationship will help you. good luck :)
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