A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy in early March and he gave me his number. We started going out for drinks together and getting to know each other. We soon got involved in a sexual relationship and he told me that he wanted more than sex one day but wasnt ready for a committed relationship. I went away for work purposes and heard nothing from him for three months. I sent frantic text after text and when I returned he came up to me and asked why IU hadnt been answering his phone calls but I had never received any. We pushed it aside and ended up sleeping together I told him I love him which I do and he said that that was impossible as we didnt know each other well enough and that he had no feelings for me. I fled the house shortly after he went to sleep feeling dirty and disgusting and told him to leave me alone for a while. I ended up seeking comfort in a friend who told me that it was clear from the guys actions that he did not want a relationship. After a while the guy and I started talking again and I was confused as to what he wanted of me. I got terribly upset one night because he was dancing with some girls. I asked who they were and he said it was none of my business and to stop acting like a jealous ex. I told him I loved him and he said I dont love you and you will never be my girlfriend you have hurt me I was going to ask you out and you blew it with your jealousy. I never want to see you again. I am now terribly heart broken. Ive tried calling him and he replied for a while. Then he came online and said that I had been talking about him which I hadnt. I told him I love him and would never hurt him. He told me that he had bent over backwards and tried to be with me but I kept pushing him away. He said that he had given me so many chances and he had enough. He now wants nothing more to do with me ever again and tells me in no uncertain terms that I will never be his girlfriend. I screwed up and I have hurt him.Whats going on I'm so confused. He is 25 and I am 20. I feel like it's all my fault. I can't stop thinking about him. One night he came online and began shouting abuse at me so I logged off and so he tried calling and texting me saying I'm a coward. I've since blocked his number but I'm so hurt by the situation. i love him and I dont understand where I've gone wrong.
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female
reader, ggl777  +, writes (6 October 2008):
It could be that he did have feeling for you at first but maybe you came off too needy or clingy. You should never tell a man that you love them right away because that kills every emotion that he might have for you. They like the challange. If you are too easy he won't stay with you for long. I went threw something similar to this. We all learn from our mistakes. Just try to move on. There is someone out there for you that will love you and care for who you are.
~Take care
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (4 October 2008):
 i believe you posted on here already, but i will answer you again.
First off...Stop telling him YOU LOVE HIM. you don't even know him to love him. You know nothing about the guy.
What you want so badly is for him to love you. Which he sense and is taking full advantage of.
What you need to learn to do is learn to love yourself and stop giving all these guys power over you.
sometimes us females confuse sex with love. We think if we have sex that they will realize how wonderful we are and love us back. But the truth is, when you give it up too fast, they already got what they wanted so they move on.
They don't respect you. (i don't mean to sound harsh)
Stop texting, stop calling stop saying you love him.
Get some distance from this guy. Do what ever you have to do. You need time to heal. You need to see that you are a beautiful person and if he can't treat you the way you deserve to be treated ..then screw him. But you have to believe it. It will take time for you to get over him.
In the meantime, stay away from guys for awhile. Stay busy and concentrate on yourself. Focus on work, schoool, friends. You are trying to get love from these guys when you really need to get it from yourself. Best of luck
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