A
female
age
30-35,
*icky0nicky
writes:My boyfriend won't admit to trying to contact his ex girlfriend.I have been with him for 3 years, and we just got a house together about 2 weeks ago. I found out about a month and a half ago that he has been trying to contact his ex girlfriend. I first found this out by seeing her on his msn list... Every week since about the middle of july, i've been hearing from his ex, and been witnessing on my own that hes been trying to contact her. He will not admit any of this to me..He swears on his life, our relationship, and says he promises from the bottom of his heart that he isn't doing anything like this... He says that he could never lie to me, he could never cheat on me.. blah blah blah. I feel like i did something wrong, but i can't quite figure out what that would be..Ive talked to him about this time and time again.. he'll either get very angry and just blow everything out of proportion, or he'll talk to me and say that he wouldn't have any business in talking to her, and list off 100 reasons on why he wouldn't even need to remotely think about her.but i am 100% positive that he IS in fact doing this behind my backi dont know what to do.. i dont understand why he would do this to our relationship when we just got a new house together.I dont want to leave him.. and i dont think i'll ever get him to admit to it. so is there anything else i can do?
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female
reader, picky0nicky +, writes (26 August 2008):
picky0nicky is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondearkelja, i know he didn't have a full closer with his ex. he broke up with her because he met someone new and had a one night stand. he actually told me the story of how they broke up just the other day. I asked him if he still felt bad about it, he said no, but he wishes he wouldn't have done it so harshly... hm. -- i've told him i wanted to just understand what was going on, and he still wouldn't come clean about any of it.
thatgothgirl20, i have infact talked to his ex about all of this. shes even been telling me what goes on behind my back between the 2 of them. she says she is completely over him because of how he broke up with her.. she has a boyfriend, and says she could care less about her ex because she thinks hes a shaddy guy. (which infact, he is..)
so maybe all of this is just about him feeling guilty or something?? i dont really know, and he'll never man up to tell me the real truth..
hes been telling me that someone has been getting into his email address to mess with him. ironically... ever since i finally got fed up with it, and had a huge discussion with him about it.... it hasn't happened since.
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (24 August 2008):
 If you are 100% positive that he is contacting his ex then maybe you could share with him the evidence and tell him that you only would like to understand what is going on here that depending on the situation, you may not be mad at him for contacting his ex.
Somehow he needs to come clean with this and the fact that he isn't to me means that he is hiding something. Buying a house together is a big committment step and maybe he just felt he needed to be sure-or maybe he never had closure with the ex. If he can't be honest with you then I do fear for the success of your future relationship.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (24 August 2008):
 Talk to his ex, but do so in a non-threatening way. "Hi. How are you doing? Are you still interested in my bf? Is he still interested in you? Because I don't fight over people who lie to me, so if you are both still interested in each other, you can have him!"
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