A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:heres the deal. i am in love, i know it for sure. my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost two years, the first year was amazing. i lost my virginity to him .. as a real sexual experiance because i was raped so hes not technically my first.. he knew that happened to me when we had or first time together. the thing is that less than a month later i found out that he regularly gets off on porn. for me that broke my heart becauae i am a very moral based girl and considering what happened to me, i take this issue very seriously. he knows how i feel about it and how much it hurts me, why does he keep doing this and what should i do about it? (i really love him) p.s im tired of all the bullshit my friends tell me to comfort me, please give me the truth no matter how harsh it is, i would really appriciate it.my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost two years now, we love eachother but have been having some problems. becuase of his porn addiction i am on him a lot about quiting. he knows it breaks my heart when he does it. anyways it has caused us to fight a lot and lose all trust in eachother. i have a very christian and moral based attitude toward this. he now hides it from me and constantly lies. no matter if we go for weeks without talking about it or weeks of fighting he will not stop. it makes me feel used and like dirt; meaningless. i dont feel like his special girl anymore. i feel like another dumb bimbo to him because i gave my virginaty to him. he now stops calling me for days and i feel like he hates me and is sick of me. but when we are together we have so much fun, we are in love. but at the end of the day we eventually fight about it. how do i deal with tgis situation and why is he pulling away? hes still in love with me im pretty sure, he just doesnt want to deal with al of this but he wants to be with me still.[MOD NOTE: Two questions from the poster have been put together as one.]
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christian, lost my virginity, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): Im a christian so i will give you the best advice as one should. It is true every man struggles with pornography thats why i would suggest getting him the book every young mans battle. It talks about acknowledging why and when the problem begin in his life. It also explains how we should take every thought captive before the lord you see because that is where the temptation begins in the mind. Women should be viewed as one of Gods most beatiful creations more than the beauty of the flesh. Pornography is evil and the women involved in it are being decieved by the evil one. I truly believe this book with Gods help can eliminate this and all the other devils strongholds in your lives.
God Bless
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionas the writer seeking this help i would like to also add that i believe their is good in everyone, and god is willing to help you beat whatever obstacle comes in your way to becomong a better person. so i believe in my boyfriend, which is why i will stick by his side forever. i just need advice to help him, what can i do or say?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlook i am very moral based and i have strong christian beliefs, but the only interference with my belief is having sex before marriage. before i was raped i promised myself not to have sex before marriage, but because of that incident sex helps me cope. wheather or not you believe that is right or not, i know me, and i know it helps me. so please dont judge my morals on that one interference in my christian beliefs.
-the author of the relationship question
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A
male
reader, DLover  +, writes (2 August 2009):
Lots of guys watch porn, single or not, satisfied or not. Soemthing like 95% of all guys do masturbate, I wouldn't be surprise if a good part of them watch porn while they do so.
I guess it brings something different, but those girl are the dirty ones, not you ! If you were special to him, he would not be with you !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): Sorry, but you're not a "moral based girl" if you're having sex before marriage.
His porn watching has nothing to do with you. Just about all teenage guys do it, and the more you fight with him over it, the faster you're going to get dumped. He's watching it so it can help him ejaculate faster when he masturbates - not so he can think lower of you or hurt you.
You need to either turn a blind eye to it, or break up. There's worse things he could be doing such as cheating on you, drugs, drinking, stealing, etc.
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