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I feel as though everything in my life is slowly falling apart. But how can I start to address these issues?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 December 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Where did it all go wrong? :(

I've never had a large circle of friends but I was happy on my last year a total school, having roughly about 5-7 friends whom I spoke with daily.

As we all parted for our next journey, we lost touch. I now only speak to 3 of them. However we hardly see each other... I know it's just a part of growing up, we all have our separate lives. It's just i get really down some days.

I feel so alone and that one day, I'll wake up and have nobody. My best friend has recently had a baby and due to my work pattern, it's hard to see her. I just feel we are slowly drifting apart. I spend days thinking about it and I end up in tears. My other two friends, we arrange to meet up but it can be months apart. And in between those days, I just feel we aren't as close.

I've recently been down because Ive had issues with men in my life. I just haven't managed to find the right one.

I know I am young and I shouldn't worry about that. Some days I don't, but it's when I meet someone and everything is going well. Yet the next day, he's gone. Just left.

I've also just been unsuccessful in a job interview for a job I've been doing for 2 years. It was a huge shock to me that I didn't get it and I feel as though everything in my life is slowly falling apart.

It strikes fear into me that one day, I'm going to wake up and I will have nobody. I'll have no friends. No partner. No money.

I fear I'm going to be alone and stuck with my parents for the rest of my life.

I'm just at a point right now, where I'm struggling to see anything positive. I know it's silly and I tell myself to be thankful for being alive, having shelter, food and a family. Because I know there are many out there who have nothing.

I'm just at a low and I've been stuck in a low mood for a week now :(

View related questions: best friend, money

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (21 December 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYou could see it as being stuck with your parents or you could see it has being lucky to have them in your life.

Off course life is difficult at times. It is perfectly normal to feel alone and depressed around Christmas time when you have no partner and a couple of friends.

Things will pick up. That is life. Sometimes we are handed shitty times and we just need to get through them. You are feeling lonely at the moment therefore go meet people. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, you will soon feel much happier being where you are now. Over the holidays if you are off work make an effort to meet up with friends. Go out and socialize, spend time with your family.

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A female reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] United States +, writes (19 December 2016):

[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony auntIt's okay, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you at all. I can understand a crap ton about how you feel. I felt like it was always me with friends and job interviews too, hell I'm still trying to find a decent job.

But we pick ourselves back up, look at our strong points and carry on from there. Sometimes as we grow older, hobbies and the people we used to hang around is subject to change. That's not necessarily a bad thing, with them having babies and other things such as school, etc. It makes it harder for them to hang out more.

What hobbies do you like to do? You may even find other people in your local community that like the same things as you. It couldn't hurt, but do whatever you see fit. Be sure to know you're not at all a bad person, because you're not failing anyone. We are our own worst critics. You'll get the job you want, just keep persisting and going to more interviews. Even a career center. (I'm going to one soon!)

If you ever want to talk, let me know. I'm always open like a book! 3.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (18 December 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntChristmas time, with all the adverts of people having fun with hundreds of close friends and family, always drives home to people how poorly their lives compare to the advertisers' dream.

Your life sounds totally normal for your age. Sadly we do drift apart from friends with whom we were close at school. As you say, it is part of life. As we move forward, we make new friends through work or socializing. If there are no people at work you can be friends with, what about taking up a new hobby so you can meet like minded people? A new year is always a good time to re-assess what you want out of life and to make new plans. What about taking up dancing? Or learn a new language? It doesn't matter what you opt for, as long as it is something you are interested in.

Have you spoken to your supervisor/manager at work to find out why you were unsuccessful in your job interview? This could give you pointers to how to improve to make sure next time you are successful.

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