A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, Me and my newly ex boyfriend broke up a week ago because he decided he didn't have enough time in his life to commit so me and engage in a serious relationship that I really wanted, so we ended. We are still very much caring about each other and he really wanted to stay friends but so I could move on, I thought it was best as least for the inevitable future, we didn't.However, I am finding it very hard because I love him dearly and obviously we didn't end about any personal disputes it was just that he can't commit. Does anyone have any ideas on how it's best to move on from a relationship you had to end, but didn't want to?
View related questions:
broke up, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (27 October 2012):
 HI
it's always going to be hard when ending a relationship, but it's even harder when you both end on good terms because there is nothing to get angry at, or point the blame towards. The only way your going to get through this quicker is complete end of ANY kind contact. change numbers if you have to so your not tempted to text, it will hurt for a bit, but nothing compared to how long it would take if you keep talking or texting. Can you not wait untill he is ready to commit? whats the rush to commit when you both have your whole life to do that if you still love eachother? Personally I think a ring and a piece of paper is not a commitment just a burden which normally ruins many good relationships. Staying with you when your happy/sad/ill/well/rich/poor/etc WITHOUT the ring and paper to proove is is more of a commitment than any other. your still individuals not joined at the hip which gives you both room to breath and enjoy eachother and respect eachother more. ood luck with what ever you decide.
Mandy x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2012): Time and no contact OP. They're the only two things that work. The more contact you have the longer and harder it will be.
There is no magic trick or thing you can do that will make things better, moving on takes time and it helps if you have people around you that you can talk to and keep busy with.
OP quite literally the worst thing that can happen when trying to move on is staying in contact. Even one "how are you?" text message can put you right back at the start of the whole process with all the pain and anguish that brings, weeks even months later.
OP if you're too weak to maintain no contact, if you let him contact you then it's going to be a far longer more painful experience and I know a girl who is two years out of a 9 month relationship who is still not over her ex because they still text each other and she just can't let go because of that. She can go months without contacting him and then it only takes one text message and all her feelings come flooding back. Needless to say no guy that has come afterwards has stood a chance with her because of it. Not a good way to live but she's too weak to let go.
...............................
|
