A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 16 years old and passionately in love with someone who doesn't feel the same for me. He knows I like him but not that I love him. I can't seem to be able to tell him. I love him so much, physically and mentally. I cant imagine life without him. I love his personality, he's so caring and clever and funny. He's so perfect in every way. I am seated next to him in some lessons and I have to restrain myself from "accidentally" touching him. I'm just so drawn to him. Maybe part of the problem is that I have fantasised about it for so long. He makes me so happy. It makes me so jealous to see him flirting and dating other girls. I don't enjoy feeling this way, I just can't seem to get over him. What makes it worse is that I have kissed him, several times. We had a little thing when we were younger but didn't date. I can imagine kissing him and would do almost anything to again. Just for him to hold me, it would be a dream. I can't explain how much I love him. I'm not quite sure what kind of answer I am looking for. I guess I just want to know if anyone else is going through this and how they are dealing with it, and if I should tell him how I really feel without creeping him out?
View related questions:
flirt, jealous, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 October 2012):
 I don't think he has " the right " to know. People do not always have the right to know everything you think and feel about them, regardless- it depends from the relationship and situation. If you were a cheating wife, your husband would have the right to know that in order to make an informed decision about the future of your marriage and family.
But in the case of a tennage crush , you tell him what you want to tell him, and what's helpful to you to tell him .
In this case, I am afraid telling him you are crazily in love with him would not you at all, it might in fact make him take a step back.
Stick to the facts : you told him that you liked him , and he basically answered, albeit in much softer terms, " that's your problem ", he did not want to date you. Nevertheless, you asked him out- and he turned you down. You are still hanging out, and he still knows that you still like him ( even if he does not know how MUCH you like him ), and he is not doing anything about it, just being friendly and nothing more. That makes me think that you are cruising for an emotional bruising. I am all in favour of " nothing ventured, nothing gained " but when there is at least a chance of success. If he does not like you " that way ", as he has already indicated clearly, what do you think , that if you declare him your passionate love, he'll say " oh I love you passionately too " just to make you happy ?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2012): Thanks. Yeah I don't know what peoe didn't get. He has NO idea WHATSOEVER about the extent of my feelings, just that I had a crush on him. I just wasn't too sure if he had a right to know, or if I should risk my friendship with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (25 October 2012):
 You said "he has absolutely no idea..." I take it from that you mean on what level you like him? He DOES know you like him, more than just like him so you definitely don't need to elaborate on that and I definitely would NOT tell him your true feelings or you'll have him bolting for the hills.He blushed because he was embarrassed. As things stand at the moment he doesn't mind being your friend but he doesn't want to take things any further than that. If he did, you'd know for sure. (You've both known one another long enough, you'd know the signs.)Her's a little bit of advice for you... A man likes a woman who is confident within herself. He's in some of your classes so be bright, cheerful, fun and take pride in how you look. Don't give him any attention whatsoever, don't look his way or smile at him either. Let him think that he's not all that he thought you thought he was and see if he makes a move. I definitely wouldn't ask him to hang out or watch a movie or any of the past things that have been mentioned. Trust me, he KNOWS you like him! Make yourself more of a challenge and be your own person. If you withdraw from him and do your own thing and he has even the smallest attraction to you then he'll come forward and seek you out, wanting to be in your company and bring YOU into conversations and asking your opinions. If he does like you then he needs to work to get you. Just stand your ground, hold back, don't always "be there" for him etc and watch how things unfold.........~Eve~
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): I understand what you are saying, but as I said, he has absolutely no idea. I'm his friend, who has a crush on him for all he knows. Only three of my close close friends know how I feel. I just wanted to know whether I should tell him how I really feel.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): He knows outright than I like him because I have told him, but he said he didn't want to date me, or anyone quite yet, but i have asked him out since then and he's rejected me. I think he may be cottoning onto the fact that what I feel may be more than a crush, because he's known since it started, and is fully aware that I still like him. When someone asked me if I liked him in front of him, I said yes, and he blushed. That confused me.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 October 2012):
 Don't tell him how you really feel. He probably isn't going to take it well, because he's so young and wouldn't know how to react. But are you sure he knows you like him? How are you sure he knows? Have you ever told him you like him, have you ever directly asked him out on a date, or asked him if he wants to hang out, just the two of you?
Maybe invite him to your place, court him. Do something together that you both think is fun, if he likes to play videogames ask him if he wants to play with you some time? Or maybe he wants to come hang out (leaving it an open invitation), and then once he comes to visit you suggest you watch a movie together? The "lets watch a movie"-trick is the most basic and most successful teenage courtship move I know of. You don't have to talk, just watch the movie together. Sit on the same couch. Pick up a blanket and cover yourself in it. After a while maybe he says he's cold too, then invite him to join you under the blanket, or maybe you ask him if he's cold and lift up the blanket for him to join you. Then just sit there, under the same blanket. Things tend to naturally move on from there. Especially if you watch a horror movie, then you can fake being scared and lean in closer. Then some time passes, you're close, you're under the same blanket... in tends to result in a make-out session.
You got to make it clear that you like him, somehow. It's not for sure that he knows, boys can be pretty dumb (no offense) when in comes to flirting, they don't get it. You need to be blunt. Men don't read between the lines, they need to be told exactly how it is. But skip the love declaration, heavy feelings will just scare him away. If he needs it directly then tell him you'd like to be his girlfriend.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): Why not try to interact with him a bit more? Have a laugh and a joke, have conversations, show him your personality, let him see what the real you is all about. You never know, he may come to the conclusion that he likes a lot of things about you too.
...............................
|
