A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am very, very frustrated.I met a guy last year from uni, and we hit it off. It blew over before Christmas, but just recently we've started speaking again. We went on a kind of date last Thursday which was lovely, and he said he wanted to see me again.On Friday, some friends and I went out to a student night at a local club, and he was there too with friends. He hung out with me at the beginning. Then completely ignored me the rest of the night. Didn't tell me he had left, then made some excuse when I texted where had he gone. I don't understand how he could like me so much one minute, then go cold the next.Any advice?Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey everyone :)
well thank god nothing happened! he turned out to be a complete and utter creep!
thanks for the advice anyway xxxx
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 February 2012):
 Cerberus hits the nail on the head, he went out for a night out with mates, you can't expect him to spend the whole night with you.
I've been in this exact situation, where I was seeing a girl for a few weeks, this same scenario occured and the next day she text me saying she didn't want to see me again - Just see where it goes from here, don't make any rash decisions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): OP you kind of have to consider a few things here. He's a college student and was on a student night out. He wasn't expecting to meet you there and was probably out to get absolutely wasted with his friends. Taking shots, dancing and getting langers, you know the drill.
Something tells me you saying he was ignoring you means you didn't exactly make an effort to go over and talk to him either and waited for him to come over. I mean I seriously doubt you went right up to him and tried to talk to him and he just turned away and ignored you. That's not ignoring OP that's just not making the effort, which you didn't exactly do either after you had hung out initially.
He probably wasn't being cold, just very drunk and distracted having a night out with his friends. You'd only been on one date OP, kind of awkward meeting a girl you've only had one date with on a night out.
I think two things are key here, the amount he drank and who he was with. He was probably langers and was with his friends it's easy to get distracted in such circumstances. That's not exactly being cold OP he's just being a regular flaky student.
I'm a mature student and often go out with the young ones. I can say with certainty that I will spend the majority of time talking to random strangers because the people I am with will be too busy dancing, bouncing around from person to person, talking to random people, kissing guys/girls and I won't see them most of the night. Sometimes they even forget I'm there and leave without me. It doesn't bother me really they're young students that's what they do.
Now while it is possible he just got very drunk and completely forgot about you, that's really the best sign either. It's not cold but it means he's probably not that into you. Especially seeing as we guys have a tendency to be very amorous when drunk, it would have been kind of logical that if he really was interested in you he would probably have tried to score you that night.
Your best course of action here is to sit back and let him approach you and make the effort. After that happening you have plenty of reasons to think he's not really interested so let him make the next move. Honestly OP you'll seem a bit desperate to be blown off like that regardless of the reasons if you do the chasing. Be wary of this guy OP, I could be completely wrong and he may well have just wanted to avoid you, if that's the case then it's even more important you let him do the chasing.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 February 2012):
 When this happens, you tell yourself you and him are not meant to be, then move on to the next guy because there could be a hundred reasons why he didn't contact you again. You are who you are, people get what they see and there is no point worrying what went wrong. Some people "like" a date a lot to get the same kind of liking back. No one wants to spend money on a bad date, so most dates are good, at least on the outside. It is what people do after it that makes the difference.
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A
female
reader, cats  +, writes (19 February 2012):
 Sounds lik maybe he has a girlfriend and was tryin not to get caught out by his friends. Give him another chance and if you notice this kind behaviour again cut ur losses he's playing you!
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (19 February 2012):
 he may be playing games with your emotions, and then again he may be interested . don't chase him but let him come to you. keep your self respect, and don't let him get you in a place were you feel dependent on him to chase after him. if he is playing games with you he will get what he wants , and go after the next girl he finds. just slow down , and let things happen naturally . if he is interested ,he will come to you. he knows you are interested in him.
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