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female
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*aramala
writes: I am currently engaged to a wonderful guy, but I am not sure that I love him like I should. Occasionally I would get butterflies but not all the time. Also mostly everything he does bugs the crap out of me. I have my days where I can't get enough of him, but most of the time I just could not be bothered. could this be that we do live together and that we have been together for over 2 years? in my last relationship the feelign was totally different. I felt like I was on cloud 9 all the time. I thought he was perfect and no matter what I would stand by his side. I don't feel the same way with this guy. Is this bad? Should I marry? I love the face that he loves me so much. I feel like he won't hurt me or leave me because he does. I think if we were to break up i would die. But when hes with me I don't rally notice him. I alwyas like guys when I can't have them, but I don't want to break up with him just to see if I really think hes the one. Please help..
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female
reader, rachael123  +, writes (10 April 2007):
 dont marry him you dont love him your jsut used to him! when you leave him you will see there is so many other men out there that you will adore, not that annoy the crap out of you! leave him, it will hurt at first but just take every day one at a time. thats what im doing hunni, i just took that step 2 days ago and already i feel better. yes i miss him like hell and it hurts but in my heart i know for a fact i have done the right thing. your be fine hunni! good luck1 rachael xx
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (10 April 2007):
 Don't get married to someone just because "they won't hurt you or leave you." That's hardly grounds for a successful marriage. I don't think you believe "he's the one" or you wouldn't be writing. If you don't love him, tell him and move on. It's not fair to him for you to be half-hearted.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): I try to explane you what I learnt about falling in love and real love. Falling in love just happens to you. You can't really controll it yourselfe. It is like beeing on drugs. The hormones in your body tell you what to do and are reigning your feelings. You can compare it with beeing drunk. The alcohol in your body makes you happy and you can forget your problems.
Real love is different. It is the decision to want the best for someone and to make this person happy. The feelings are different to the feelings of falling in love, and you don't allways feel anything. But the cheerful feelings will come back again. This is not the case with falling in love. This feelings you will only have a few month ore years, but they will not come back in the same form.
So if you really think he is a wonderful man and you would like to make him happy and spend the rest of your life with him, but only the FEELINGS of beeing in love are gone, don't worry to much. There is nothing wrong with you. Don't let your feelings dominate your live and mind. Use your brain and make the decision with your intellect and I'm sure it will be allright!
I wish you all the best!
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