A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf have been together for 8 months we are very much in love but my bf's insecurity is getting to our realtionship causing arguements and fall outs. He did actually 'finish it' by text last night because he had got all funny with me for not contacting him allday. He hadn't contacted me either so i don't understand why he was annoyed. Is our relationship worth patching up? i am really feeling the heartache today but something inside me just tells me we are going to make up the thing is i can;t take the insecurity and the childish behaviour other than that hes great. We have spoken about it loads and he agrees that the petty arguements need to stop but its just happened again so i don't know what to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): Hi,I have been in a similar relationship for over 5 years, believe me the insecurities never go away, if anything they get worse, with constant need for reassurance.I have to account for every minute , who I've seen, spoken to, as a result I've lost all my friends and self confidence.The reason I'm still here is our two daughters, although he did 'finish' with me when the youngest was less than a week old, because he wasn't getting enough attention!He is constantly checking my mobile and my emails go through his account first. Don't be like me, go while you have no ties. Good luck with making your decision x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): Hi there,
It doesn't sound like you are both very much in love at all. People who are in love doesn't get all insecure, neither do they break up with someone, especially by text, that is just harsh and comes from a relationship based on passive submissive and manipulative behaviour. Maybe you loved each other at some point but not now. Sometimes it is possible to put insecurities and circular problems in the past by talking through them and finding ways to make sure it doesn't happen again but often this fails because one, or both people just can't stop repeating the things that are destroying the relationship. In my mind, if your boyfriend really loved you, he would not finish with you - that is a fact and you need to see it as that and stop getting caught up in all the insecure drama that he is creating around it. I feel you need to get back your self-confidence and assert your self-respect as to stop pursuing someone who is controlling you and calling all the shots. He broke up with you, so show him what he has lost - but whatever you do, don't play his game because it will be you who ends up getting your heart broken, not him.
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