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I don't know whether to ask my father for financial help or go overseas for further studies

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2019)
A female Bahrain age 30-35, *etobe writes:

Dear Cupids,

I have a life dilemma. I am 31 and still living with my parents.

I am an intuitive person and I understand its time for me to move on to my own apartment. Unfortunately though the salary i make per month cannot sustain me into moving out on my own. I could however share rent with someone, although i dont feel thats an option for me at the moment :/ .

Where I come from, you move out only when you've married someone. Also not a current option for me...and I feel shy to ask my father for his financial lending hand in the matter.

My ex boyfriend who left the country a year ago has returned since he found a good job here to sustain him,however I told him I am not ready to give him a second chance.

As a smart independent woman I don't feel the need to have to rely on a man in order to get my freedom and move out.

I feel my last option would also be to move back to Australia by myself since I feel like Australia has more to offer in terms of educational courses I could take as well as casual work hours so I can do other things besides work all the time.

If you have any advice, Please share your wisdom :)

View related questions: move on, shy

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntTalk to your dad, ASK his advice.

Though SHOW him that you have thought your options over. Such as you KNOW what degree you want to pursue and where and at what COST.

And consider if there is ANYWHERE in your own country/area you can go get this degree as well.

FEELING like Australia has more options... doesn't mean it does or that Australia is a financial option for your parents.

Being smart and independent doesn't mean life can't be a struggle. If you NEED your father's help to improve on your future you NEED to talk to him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2019):

Do you have sufficient knowledge of the academic requirements to study in Australia? If you dont then I advise you to get these informations from the Australian embassy in your country before making any travel plans. Second talk to your father if he can support you financially to study in Australia. Why dont you also consider other options to study abroad where living and university expenses are cheaper?

I cant understand why you dont want to live with your parents? Are you being harrassed by other family members?

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (14 April 2019):

You contradict yourself when you say you're and independent woman and don't feel the need to rely on a man to get your freedom and move out. The turn around and ask if you should ask your father for help, who just so happens to provide the roof over your head at the present.

Sit-down with your dad and discuss the financial feasibility of receiving "help" when needed. Otherwise, don't move; unless you have your ducks in a row.

You want to relocate to another country without a job. You'll have the expenses of school, food, shelter, and other financial obligations. I'm not trying to be cocky, but how can you consider leaving the country if you can't even afford to leave home? Get a job a save. Have you applied for scholarships abroad? Would it be a financial burden on your father? How do you claim independence when you say you don't earn enough to support yourself?

I'm not sure where there's a place anywhere where you don't move unless you're married. That would mean you could live with your parents indefinitely, if you can't find a husband. I don't think that would happen anywhere.

Don't leave the country unless you make prior arrangements for shelter, a job, and you know your parents can afford to help you. Living abroad when you're broke becomes a financial burden on anyone who tries to help you. Unless you have wealthy parents; which couldn't be the case if you wrote your post. They'd probably send you wherever you wanted to go school, no question.

You're at an age that you should be able to financially sustain yourself; so you should minimize any burden you place on your parents. Make wise and feasible decision within your means.

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